Friendship Quotes – a large collection of famous and inspirational quotes

Menu

Tag: Bill Cosby

Funny Quotes

Posted on by

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. – Groucho Marx

A friend doesn’t go on a diet because you are fat. – Erma Bombeck

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live. – Bob Hope

A lot of baby boomers are baby bongers. – Kevin Nealon

A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore. – Yogi Berra

A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, “At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.” – Claude Pepper

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. – Lana Turner

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it. – Jerry Seinfeld

Funny QuotesA word to the wise ain’t necessary – it’s the stupid ones that need the advice. – Bill Cosby

All men are equal before fish. – Herbert Hoover

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height. – Casey Stengel

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry. – Bill Cosby

Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid. – Hedy Lamarr

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. – Groucho Marx

As a child my family’s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it. – Buddy Hackett

As I get older, I just prefer to knit. – Tracey Ullman

Be obscure clearly. – E. B. White

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly. – P. J. O’Rourke

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. – Jim Carrey

Get Over It Quotes

Posted on by

My Mama always said you’ve got to put the past behind you before you can move on. – The Movie Forrest Gump

You are responsible for your life. You can’t keep blaming somebody else for your  dysfunction. Life is really about moving on. – Oprah Winfrey

Get mad, then get over it. – Colin Powell

Vitality shows in not only the ability to persist but the ability to start over. – F. Scott Fitzgerald

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. – The Buddha

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. – Mohandas Gandhi

Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can’t change. Life’s too short to be anything… but happy. – Anonymous

Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go. – Hermann Hesse

We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come. – Joseph Campbell

Get over It QuotesSelf-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in this world. – Helen Keller

So what do we do? Anything. Something. So long as we just don’t sit there. If we screw it up, start over. Try something else. If we wait until we’ve satisfied all the uncertainties, it may be too late. – Lee Iacocca

Keep on beginning and failing. Each time you fail, start all over again, and you will grow stronger until you have accomplished a purpose – not the one you began with perhaps, but one you’ll be glad to remember. – Anne Sullivan

You must do the things you think you cannot do. – Eleanor Roosevelt

You have to accept whatever comes and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage and with the best that you have to give. – Eleanor Roosevelt

With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts. – Eleanor Roosevelt

 

It is only through labor and painful effort, by grim energy and resolute courage, that we move on to better things. – Theodore Roosevelt

Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on. – Bob Newhart

People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what’s bitter and move on. – Bill Cosby

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. – Albert Einstein

To change ones life: Start immediately. Do it flamboyantly. – William James

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. – Lao Tzu

If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. – Maya Angelou

Letting go doesn’t mean giving up… it means moving on. – Anonymous

Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow.” – Mary Anne Radmacher

When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us. – Helen Keller

Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass… It’s about learning how to dance in the rain. – Vivian Greene

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; And wisdom to know the difference. – Reinhold Niebuhr

We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we’re curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths. – Walt Disney

To go against the dominant thinking of your friends, of most of the people you see every day, is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform. – Theodore H. White

Before moving on, you have to clear away your cherished beliefs. – Dick Raymond

How do geese know when to fly to the sun? Who tells them the seasons? How do we, humans know when it is time to move on? As with the migrant birds, so surely with us, there is a voice within if only we would listen to it, that tells us certainly when to go forth into the unknown. – Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Famous Quotes

Posted on by

“What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world, remains and is immortal.” – Albert Pine

“The principal mark of genius is not perfection but originality, the opening of new frontiers” – Arthur Koestler

“A wise man makes his own decisions, an ignorant man follows public opinion.” – Chinese Proverb

“I don’t pretend to be captain weird. I just do what I do.” – Johnny Depp

“Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.” – Unknown

“A genius is one who can do anything except make a living” – Joey Lauren Adams

“Start from wherever you are and with whatever you’ve go” – Jim Rohn

“It’s a little like religion and a lot like sex – you should never know when you’re going to get some next.” – Jimmy Buffett

“Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.” – Unknown

“I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” – Oscar Wilde

“Google before you tweet is the new think before you speak.” – Jennifer Brownhill

“We stand tallest when we stoop to help others.” – Unknown

“I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.” – Bill Cosby

“There is no limit to the good one can do, when he cares not who gets the credit.” – Unknown

“If I look at the mass, I will never act. If I look at one, I will” – Mother Teresa

“We are here to add what we can to life, not to get what we can from life” – William Osler

Men and Women Quotes

Posted on by

“A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.” – Robert Frost

“Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.” – Albert Einstein

“Men are what their mothers made them.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Male and female represent the two sides of the great radical dualism. But in fact they are perpetually passing into one another. Fluid hardens to solid, solid rushes to fluid. There is no wholly masculine man, no purely feminine woman.” – Margaret Fuller

“If women are expected to do the same work as men, we must teach them the same things.” – Plato

“For most of history, ‘Anonymous’ was a woman.” – Virginia Woolf

“Women are made to be loved, not understood.” – Oscar Wilde

“There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.” – Will Rogers

“Women don’t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think – in a deeper voice.” – Bill Cosby

“Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.” – Timothy Leary

Optimism Quotes

Posted on by

Being optimistic is one of the best thing you can do in your life. Life is easier and happier for an optimistic person. Let me show you some great optimism quotes to make you a more motivating day. Relax and enjoy.

Nothing lasts forever? Not even your troubles. – Arnold H Glasgow

Every exit is an entry somewhere. – Tom Stoppard

The world is full of cactus, but we don’t have to sit on it. – Will Foley

There can’t be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full. – Henry Kissinger

Optimist: Person who travels on nothing from nowhere to happiness. – Mark Twain

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. – Albert Einstein

I would rather stay positive and get 60 percent good results than stay negative and get 100 percent bad results. – Joyce Meyer

The person who sends out positive thoughts activates the world around him positively and draws back to himslef positive results. – Norman Vincent Peale

We have been taught to believe that negative equals realistic and positive equals unrealistic. – Susan Jeffers

Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door. – Emily Dickinson

Some days there won’t be a song in your heart. Sing anyway. – Emory Austin

If winter comes, can spring be far behind? – Percy Bysshe Shelley

Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow. – Helen Keller

You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it. – Bill Cosby

I think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it. – Frank A. Clark

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight. – Unknown

Carry laughter with you wherever you go. – Hugh Sidey

If we couldn’t laugh, we would all go insane. – Jimmy Buffet

Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face. – Victor Hugo

Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully. – Max Eastman

If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you’re old. – Edgar Watson Howe

Optimism and humor are the grease and glue of life. Without both of them we would never have survived our captivity. – Philip Butler

Optimists are nostalgic about the future. – Chicago Tribune

Optimism is the foundation of courage. – Nicholas Murray Butler

Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope or confidence. – Helen Keller

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true. – James Branch Cabell

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. – Winston Churchill

An optimist may see a light where there is none, but why must the pessimist always run to blow it out? – Michel De Saint-Pierre

No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new heaven to the human spirit. – Helen Keller

In the long run the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist has a better time on the trip. – Daniel L. Reardon

Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute. – Gladys Bronwys Stern

Become a possibilitarian. No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see possibilities — always see them, for they’re always there. – Norman Vincent Peale

Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns; I am thankful that thorns have roses. – Alphonse Karr

Long Life Quotes

Posted on by

There is only one difference between a long life and a good dinner: that, in the dinner, the sweets come last. – Robert Louis Stevenson

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream. – C. S. Lewis

We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing. – George Bernard Shaw

Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be. – Robert Browning

In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years. – Abraham Lincoln

Every one desires to live long, but no one would be old. – Abraham Lincoln

It takes a long time to become young. – Pablo Picasso

Solitary trees, if they grow at all, grow strong. – Winston Churchill

None are so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm. – Henry David Thoreau

In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility. – Eleanor Roosevelt

With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts. – Eleanor Roosevelt

It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop. – Confucius

Life well spent is long. – Leonardo da Vinci

A comfortable old age is the reward of a well-spent youth. Instead of its bringing sad and melancholy prospects of decay, it would give us hopes of eternal youth in a better world. – Maurice Chevalier

My only fear is that I may live too long. This would be a subject of dread to me. – Thomas Jefferson

For having lived long, I have experienced many instances of being obliged, by better information or fuller consideration, to change opinions, even on important subjects, which I once thought right but found to be otherwise. – Benjamin Franklin

Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young. – Henry Ford

The mind unlearns with difficulty what it has long learned. – Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Immortality is a long shot, I admit. But somebody has to be first. – Bill Cosby

Men cannot for long live hopefully unless they are embarked upon some great unifying enterprise – one for which they may pledge their lives, their fortunes and their honor. – C. A. Dykstra

Error is acceptable as long as we are young; but one must not drag it along into old age. – Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough. – Groucho Marx

May you live all the days of your life. – Jonathan Swift

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? – Satchel Paige

Famous and Funny Quotes

Posted on by

– “The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once” – E. Joseph Cossman

– “Gray hair is God’s graffiti” – Bill Cosby

– “I lived in Miami for a while, in a section with a lot of really old people. The average age in my apartment house was dead” – Gabe Kaplan

– “Good Americans, when they die, go to Paris” – T. G. Appleton

– “We had a very successful trip to Russia we got back” – Bob Hope

– “I know lots more old drunks than old doctors” – Joe E. Lewis

– “My doctor said I look like a million dollars – green and wrinkled” – Red Skelton

– “Condoms aren’t completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one . . . and got hit by a bus” – Bob Rubin

– “My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn’t pay the bill, he gave me six months more” – Walter Mattbau

– “I can’t believe that out of a hundred thousand sperm, you were the quickest” – Steven Pearl

– “she: Before we got married, you told me you were well-off.
he: I was, and I didn’t know it” – Jacob Braude
– “A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband” – Michel de Montaigne

Bill Cosby Quotes

Posted on by

A word to the wise ain’t necessary – it’s the stupid ones that need the advice.

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.

Any man today who returns from work, sinks into a chair, and calls for his pipe is a man with an appetite for danger.

As I have discovered by examining my past, I started out as a child. Coincidentally, so did my brother. My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket, so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell, who taught me what was meant by “survival of the fittest.”

Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them.

Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.

Even though your kids will consistently do the exact opposite of what you’re telling them to do, you have to keep loving them just as much.

Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing.

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.

Gray hair is God’s graffiti.

Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.

I am certainly not an authority on love because there are no authorities on love, just those who’ve had luck with it and those who haven’t.

I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.

I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.

I wasn’t always black… there was this freckle, and it got bigger and bigger.

If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.

Immortality is a long shot, I admit. But somebody has to be first.

In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.

It isn’t a matter of black is beautiful as much as it is white is not all that’s beautiful.

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.

Men and women belong to different species and communications between them is still in its infancy.

My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own fatherhood, but it didn’t because parenting can only be learned by people who have no children.

No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I’m not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.

Nothing I’ve ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father to my children.

Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child is eight or nine, he has developed a passion for his own music that is even stronger than his passions for procrastination and weird clothes.

Old is always fifteen years from now.

Parents are not interested in justice, they’re interested in peace and quiet.

People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what’s bitter and move on.

Poets have said that the reason to have children is to give yourself immortality. Immortality? Now that I have five children, my only hope is that they are all out of the house before I die.

Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is gained: each generation repeats the mistakes the previous one made.

Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don’t believe the kids should be given homework.

That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle that the Vatican has overlooked.

The essence of childhood, of course, is play, which my friends and I did endlessly on streets that we reluctantly shared with traffic.

The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods.

The main goal of the future is to stop violence. The world is addicted to it.

The past is a ghost, the future a dream, and all we ever have is now.

The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet.

There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.

There is no labor a person does that is undignified; if they do it right.

Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.

When you become senile, you won’t know it.

Women don’t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think – in a deeper voice.

You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.

You know the only people who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who’ve never had any.

Success Quotes

Posted on by

In the end, you’re measured not by how much you undertake but by what you finally accomplish. – Donald Trump

Part of being a winner is knowing when enough is enough. Sometimes you have to give up the fight and walk away, and move on to something that’s more productive. – Donald Trump

A man can succeed at almost anything for which he has unlimited enthusiasm. – Charles Schwab

I do not think that there is any other quality so essential to success of any kind as the quality of perseverance. It overcomes almost everything, even nature. – John D. Rockfeller

If you want to succeed you should strike out on new paths, rather than travel the worn paths of accepted success. – John D. Rockfeller

Singleness of purpose is one of the chief essentials for success in life, no matter what may be one’s aim. – John D. Rockfeller

The most important thing for a young man is to establish a credit… a reputation, character. – John D. Rockfeller

It’s fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure. – Bill Gates

Before everything else, getting ready is the secret of success. – Henry Ford

Enthusiasm is the yeast that makes your hopes shine to the stars. Enthusiasm is the sparkle in your eyes, the swing in your gait. The grip of your hand, the irresistible surge of will and energy to execute your ideas. – Henry Ford

If everyone is moving forward together, then success takes care of itself. – Henry Ford

If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own. – Henry Ford

A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him. – David Brinkley

Action is the foundational key to all success. – Pablo Picasso

Don’t aim for success if you want it; just do what you love and believe in, and it will come naturally. – David Frost

Flaming enthusiasm, backed up by horse sense and persistence, is the quality that most frequently makes for success. – Dale Carnegie

I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. – Bill Cosby

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it. – W. C. Fields

The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary. – Vince Lombardi

In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure. – Bill Cosby

Most people give up just when they’re about to achieve success. They quit on the one yard line. They give up at the last minute of the game one foot from a winning touchdown. – Ross Perot

One secret of success in life is for a man to be ready for his opportunity when it comes. – Benjamin Disraeli

People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing. – Dale Carnegie

If you believe in what you are doing, then let nothing hold you up in your work. Much of the best work of the world has been done against seeming impossibilities. The thing is to get the work done. – Dale Carnegie

Instead of worrying about what people say of you, why not spend time trying to accomplish something they will admire. – Dale Carnegie

Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all. – Dale Carnegie

One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today. – Dale Carnegie

The successful man will profit from his mistakes and try again in a different way. – Dale Carnegie

When fate hands you a lemon, make lemonade. – Dale Carnegie

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. – Winston Churchill

Success has a simple formula: do your best, and people may like it. – Sam Ewing

Success is blocked by concentrating on it and planning for it… Success is shy – it won’t come out while you’re watching. – Tennessee Williams

Success is like death. The more successful you become, the higher the houses in the hills get and the higer the fences get. – Kevin Spacey

Success is simple. Do what’s right, the right way, at the right time. – Arnold H. Glasow

Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure. – Earl Wilson

Whatever you have, you must either use or lose.  – Henry Ford

Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy. – Dale Carnegie

I try to learn from the past, but I plan for the future by focusing exclusively on the present. That’s were the fun is. – Donald Trump

Without passion you don’t have energy, without energy you have nothing. – Donald Trump

If you want to achieve things in life, you’ve just got to do them, and if you’re talented and smart, you’ll succeed. – Juliana Hatfield

Funny Family Quotes

Posted on by

“Some family trees bear an enormous crop of nuts.” – Wayne H.

“The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.” – Sam Levenson

“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” – George Burns

“Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.” – Evan Esar

“Families are like fudge – mostly sweet with a few nuts.” – Anonymous

“Parents are not interested in justice, they’re interested in peace and quiet.” – Bill Cosby

“My husband and I have decided to start a family while my parents are still young enough to look after them.” – Rita Rudner

“Having a two-year-old is like having a blender that you don’t have the top for.” – Jerry Seinfeld

“There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: Twins.” – Josh Billings

“Wealth is any income that is at least one hundred dollars a year more than the income of one’s wife’s sister’s husband.” – HL Mencken

“A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be.” – Anonymous

“Santa Claus has the right idea. Only visit people once a year.” – Victor Borge

“My mother didn’t breast feed me. She said she just liked me as a friend.” – Rodney Dangerfield

“I’m going home next week. It’s a kind of energency – my parents are coming here.” – Rita Rudner

“I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.” – Rodney Dangerfield

“Teenagers, are you tired of being harassed by your stupid parents? Act now. Move out, get a job, and pay your own bills – while you still know everything.” – John Hinde

“Friends are God’s apology for relations.” – Hugh Kingsmill