Friendship Quotes – a large collection of famous and inspirational quotes

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Funny Quotes and Sayings

I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

A day without sunshine is like, night.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

Some days you’re the dog, and some days you’re the hydrant.

I keep hitting “escape”, but I’m still here.

I just read that YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook are merging. It’ll be called You-Twit-Face.

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

A vasectomy means never having to say you’re sorry.

I have a drinking problem – I can’t afford it.

When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

I may not always be right, but I am never wrong.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

Don’t tell me the sky is the limit when we’ve put footprints on the moon.

I just read that YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook are merging. It’ll be called You-Twit-Face.

Politicians and diapers need to be changed regularly, usually for the same reason.

Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

A fool is a 37th floor window washer who steps backs to see his work.

I tried to put my head together but now my body is falling apart!!

I like to reminisce with people I don’t know.

Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.

A penny saved is a government oversight.

I can resist everything except temptation.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement .

If you think there is good in everybody, you haven’t met everybody.

If you can smile when things go wrong , you have someone in mind to blame.

The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.

Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words ‘The’ and ‘IRS’ together it spells ‘Theirs.’

Going to church no more makes you a Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Funny Quotes and SayingsAging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it’s called golf.

I say no to alcohol, it just doesn’t listen.

A friend in need is a pest indeed.

Work is fine if it doesn’t take too much of your time.

When everything comes your way you’re in the wrong lane.

The light at the end of the tunnel may be an oncoming train..

Born free, taxed to death.

Whether you think you can or can’t, you’re right.

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don’t have film.

Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.

Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you’ll have trouble putting on your pants.

It’s not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.

The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.

In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?

If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?

Beat the 5 o’clock rush, leave work at noon!

If you can’t convince them, confuse them..

It’s not the fall that kills you. It’s the sudden stop at the end.

I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder!

The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker.

Someday is not a day of the week

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

To Err is human, to forgive is not a Company policy.

The road to success….. Is always under construction.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.

Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does milk.

In order to get a loan, you first need to prove that you don’t need it.

All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening or married to someone else.

If ignorance is bliss, then I must be the happiest thingamajig in the whatchamacallit!

I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying. [Oscar Wilde]

Silence is golden… duck tape is silver.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers.

I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.

I know there’s other fish in the sea, but I lost my pole when the last one got away from me.

Jim Rohn Quotes

The book you don’t read won’t help. –Jim Rohn Quotes

If you don’t like how things are, change it! You’re not a tree. –Jim Rohn Quotes

If you go to work on your plan, your plan will go to work on you. –Jim Rohn Quotes

Effective communication is 20% what you know and 80% how you feel about what you know. –Jim Rohn Quotes

You cannot change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction overnight. –Jim Rohn Quotes

Don’t wish it were easier, wish you were better. –Jim Rohn Quotes

Success is doing ordinary things extraordinarily well. –Jim Rohn Quotes

Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person you become. –Jim Rohn Quotes

Formal education will make you a living; self-education will make you a fortune. –Jim Rohn Quotes

The major reason for setting a goal is for what it makes of you to accomplish it. –Jim Rohn Quotes

Jim Rohn Quotes

Denis Waitley Short Quotes

A quick list of some Denis Waitley Quotes. Short quotes from him, perfect to send on twitter.

Chase your passion, not your pension. –Denis Waitley Quotes

Life is not accountable to us. We are accountable to life. –Denis Waitley Quotes

You must stick to your conviction, but be ready to abandon your assumptions. –Denis Waitley Quotes

It is not in the pursuit of happiness that we find fulfillment, it is in the happiness of pursuit. –Denis Waitley Quotes

denis waitley quotesLosers live in the past. Winners learn from the past and enjoy working in the present toward the future. –Denis Waitley Quotes

Expect the best, plan for the worst, and prepare to be surprised. –Denis Waitley Quotes

You must be worthy of the best, but not more worthy than the rest. –Denis Waitley Quotes

You must continue to gain expertise, but avoid thinking like an expert. –Denis Waitley Quotes

The results you achieve will be in direct proportion to the effort you apply. –Denis Waitley Quotes

Change the changeable, accept the unchangeable, and remove yourself from the unacceptable. –Denis Waitley Quotes

Best Funny Quotes

I’ve prepared for you a great list with best funny quotes of all time. Of course, the list could be larger, but you can help me to expand it.

A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free.

I reckon being ill as one of the great pleasures of life, provided one is not too ill and is not obliged to work till one is better.

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.

best funny quotes If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter

Of all days, the day on which one has not laughed is the one most surely wasted.

I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.

A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid.

A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking. The remarkable thing about Shakespeare is that he really is very good, in spite of all the people who say he is very good.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I killed because they were annoying.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons

Get Over It Quotes

My Mama always said you’ve got to put the past behind you before you can move on. – The Movie Forrest Gump

You are responsible for your life. You can’t keep blaming somebody else for your  dysfunction. Life is really about moving on. – Oprah Winfrey

Get mad, then get over it. – Colin Powell

Vitality shows in not only the ability to persist but the ability to start over. – F. Scott Fitzgerald

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. – The Buddha

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. – Mohandas Gandhi

Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can’t change. Life’s too short to be anything… but happy. – Anonymous

Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go. – Hermann Hesse

We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come. – Joseph Campbell

Get over It QuotesSelf-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in this world. – Helen Keller

So what do we do? Anything. Something. So long as we just don’t sit there. If we screw it up, start over. Try something else. If we wait until we’ve satisfied all the uncertainties, it may be too late. – Lee Iacocca

Keep on beginning and failing. Each time you fail, start all over again, and you will grow stronger until you have accomplished a purpose – not the one you began with perhaps, but one you’ll be glad to remember. – Anne Sullivan

You must do the things you think you cannot do. – Eleanor Roosevelt

You have to accept whatever comes and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage and with the best that you have to give. – Eleanor Roosevelt

With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts. – Eleanor Roosevelt

 

It is only through labor and painful effort, by grim energy and resolute courage, that we move on to better things. – Theodore Roosevelt

Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on. – Bob Newhart

People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what’s bitter and move on. – Bill Cosby

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. – Albert Einstein

To change ones life: Start immediately. Do it flamboyantly. – William James

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. – Lao Tzu

If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. – Maya Angelou

Letting go doesn’t mean giving up… it means moving on. – Anonymous

Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow.” – Mary Anne Radmacher

When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us. – Helen Keller

Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass… It’s about learning how to dance in the rain. – Vivian Greene

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; And wisdom to know the difference. – Reinhold Niebuhr

We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we’re curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths. – Walt Disney

To go against the dominant thinking of your friends, of most of the people you see every day, is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform. – Theodore H. White

Before moving on, you have to clear away your cherished beliefs. – Dick Raymond

How do geese know when to fly to the sun? Who tells them the seasons? How do we, humans know when it is time to move on? As with the migrant birds, so surely with us, there is a voice within if only we would listen to it, that tells us certainly when to go forth into the unknown. – Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Life Quotes

It takes as much courage to have tried and failed as it does to have tried and succeeded – Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Most of us have far more courage than we ever dreamed we possessed- Dale Carnegie

To retaliate in kind would do nothing but intensify the existence of hate in the universe. Along the way of life, someone must have sense enough, and morality enough, to cut off the chain of hate. –Martin Luther King Jr

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. ~ Sophocles

People need love even when they don’t deserve it. ~ Nikki Ledbetter

I wonder how many people never get the one they want, but end up with the one they’re supposed to have- Fried Green Tomatoes

I don’t know. It’s like, there’s this person that you want to be for other people. To make them proud of you. And then there’s you. And sometimes it’s hard to tell where one ends and the other begins. – Dawson’s Creek

Everyone can be okay, but it takes a real person to smile through the pain. – Michaela Marie

Courage is not defined by those who fought and did not fall … but those who fought, fell, and rose again. – Unknown

When you spend your life worrying about how others feel, you lose track of how you feel. – Unknown

I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then live with that decision. – Eleanor Roosevelt

It’s impossible to please everyone so I suggest we all stop trying. – Jennifer Aniston

The world is so much better when you’re dreaming… – The Youth Ahead

When things are perfect, that’s when you need to worry most. – Drew Barrymore

If you tell the truth, you don’t have o remember anything- Mark Twain

Life QuotesSurround yourself with people you love being yourself with. – Unknown

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. – Buddha

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter –MLK Jr.

Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth- Benjamin Disraeli

Sometimes paper is the only thing that will listen to you. – Unknown

Your life is the sum result of all the choices you make, both consciously and unconsciously. If you can control the process of choosing, you can take control of all aspects of your life. You can find the freedom that comes from being in charge of yourself. – Robert F. Bennett

Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.- Bob Newhart

Forgiving is not forgetting, it’s letting go of the hurt. – Unknown

If you want to hear the truth, listen to the heart, because it doesn’t know how to lie- Gingerale

No matter the consequence those who are honest with themselves get further in life. – Unknown

Life is like fresh fallen snow, be careful where you walk, for every step will show. – Unknown

You never find yourself until you face the truth.- Pearl Bailey

Don’t put too much in any one person…they have a habit of taking more than you may be prepared to give. – Unknown

The most wasted day of all is that which we have not laughed. – Unknown

In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility. – Eleanor Roosevelt

What we call the secret of happiness is no more a secret than our willingness to choose life. – Leo Buscaglia

Once in a while it really hits people that they don’t have to experience the world in the way they have been told to.- Alan Keightley

If youre going to get in trouble for hitting someone, you might as well do it hard. – Unknown

Funny, sometimes it’s the smallest decistions that change your life forever. – Unknown

When I do something great, no one ever seems to remember, but when I do something wrong, no one can ever seem to forget. – Unknown

Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% of how you respond to it. – Unknown

To be persuasive, we must be believable. To be believable, we must be credible. To be credible, we must be truthful.- Hellmut Walters

Truth isn’t always beauty, but the hunger for it is.- Nadine Gordimer

Learn to see things as they really are, not as we imagine they are. – Vernon Howard

There is no shame in finding someone else to be attractive, or good company. Even if they don’t like you, there is still no shame. If you happen to be fond of someone, and they’re not fond of you, it’s OK…You don’t have to wait and see if they’ll love you back. You can announce it…Joy in life comes from expressing ourselves, in taking risks and jumping in. Everyone is not going to like you. But you can like who you like.- Andrew Matthews

Motivational Life Quote

Motivational Life Quote“Life is to short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so love the people who treat you right and forget the ones that don’t and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a change, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said that it’d be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.” – Anonymous

Top 20 Mahatma Gandhi Quotes

Top 20 Mahatma Gandhi QuotesWhen it comes to quotes, Mahatma Gandhi is one of my favorites. Let me share with you Top 20 Mahatma Gandhi Quotes.

1. “Nonviolence is a weapon of the strong” – Mahatma Gandhi

2. “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” – Mahatma Gandhi

3. “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” – Mahatma Gandhi

4. “Earth provides enough to satisfy every man’s need, but not every man’s greed” – Mahatma Gandhi

5. “The Roots of Violence: Wealth without work, Pleasure without conscience, Knowledge without character, Commerce without morality, Science without humanity, Worship without sacrifice, Politics without principles” – Mahatma Gandhi

6. “First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.” – Mahatma Gandhi

7. “Almost everything you do will seem insignificant, but it is important that you do it” – Mahatma Gandhi

8. “You may never know what results come of your action, but if you do nothing there will be no result” –Mahatma Gandhi

9. “The law of love could be best understood and learned through little children” – Mahatma Gandhi

10. “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” – Mahatma Gandhi

11. “Even if you are a minority of one, the truth is the truth.” – Mahatma Gandhi

12. “An ounce of practice is worth more than tons of preaching.” – Mahatma Gandhi

13. “As a rule, the mind, residing in a body that has become weakened by pampering, is also weak, and where there is no strength of mind there can be no strength of soul.” –Mahatma Gandhi

14. “Each one has to find his peace from within. And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances.” – Mahatma Gandhi

15. “Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” – Mahatma Gandhi

16. “Truth is by nature self-evident. As soon as you remove the cobwebs of ignorance that surround it, it shines clear.” – Mahatma Gandhi

17. “A ‘NO’ uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a ‘YES’ merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble.” – Mahatma Gandhi

18. “There is more to life than increasing its speed.” – Mahatma Gandhi

19. “Man should forget his anger before he lies down to sleep.” – Mahatma Gandhi

20. “Be the change you want to see in the world.” – Mahatma Gandhi

Quotes to Inspire

Let me show you a huge collection of Quotes to Inspire. Please take time and read all of them, select your favorite, and share with all your friends. Be happy! :)

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the things you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. . . . Explore. Dream.” – Mark Twain

“One’s mind, once stretched by a new idea, never regains its original dimensions.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

“Thinking too well of people often allows them to be better than they otherwise would.” – Nelson Mandela

“It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.” – Charles Darwin

“Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won’t come in.” – Isaac Asimov

“Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome while trying to succeed.” – Booker T. Washington

“The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life.” – Muhammad Ali

“The normal and the stigmatized are not persons, but perspectives.” – Erving Goffman

“Thinking too well of people often allows them to be better than they otherwise would be.” – Nelson Mandela

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” – Maya Angelou

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” – Margaret Mead

“One can never pay in gratitude; one can only pay ‘in kind’ somewhere else in life.” – Anne Morrow Lindbergh

“Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” – Howard Thurman

“Until you make peace with who you are, you’ll never be content with what you have.” – Doris Mortman

“Let us be a little humble; let us think that the truth may not perhaps be entirely with us.” – Jawaharlal Nehru

“Make it your business to know yourself, which is the most difficult lesson in the world.” – Miguel De Cervantes

“To live a creative life we must lose our fear of being wrong.” – Joseph Chilton Pearce

”Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” –
Carl Bard

“Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.” – Albert Einstein

Quotes to Inspire”Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light.” – Albert Schweitzer

”The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

”Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant.” – Robert Louis Stevenson

”Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” – Mahatma Gandhi

“I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor.” – Henry David Thoreau

”The secret of happiness is not doing what one likes to do, but in liking what one has to do.” – Sir James M. Barrie

“In a time of drastic change it is the learners who inherit the future. The learned usually find themselves equipped to live in a world that no longer exists.” – Eric Hoffer

“He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.” – Chinese Proverb

“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese

”The journey of discovery begins not with new vistas but with having new eyes with which to behold them.” – Marcel Proust

”The best way to have a good idea is to have lots of ideas.” – Linus Pauling

“Tell me I’ll forget, show me, I may remember, but involve me and I’ll understand. – Chinese Proverb

”Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.” – St. Francis of Assisi

”The tragedy of life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach.” – Benjamin Mays

“A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination.” – Nelson Mandela

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.” – Agnes Repplier

“If you put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price.” – Anonymous

“The definition of a bore: a person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.” – Ambrose Bierce

”To think is easy. To act is hard. But the hardest thing in the world is to act in accordance with your thinking.” – Johann von Goethe

“People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.” – Soren Kierkegaard

”Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it “ – Henry David Thoreau

“When one door closes another door opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.” – Alexander Graham Bell

“If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don’t, they never were.” – Kahlil Gibran

”Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.” – Carl Jung

”Friendship with one’s self is all important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

”Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” – George Bernard Shaw

”I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.” – Thomas Jefferson

”First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.” – Mahatma Gandhi

”Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde

”The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.” – Albert Einstein