Tag: Mel Brooks

Quotes on Humor

Posted on September 6, 2011 by

“Laugh as much as possible, always laugh. It’s the sweetest thing one can do for oneself & one’s fellow human beings.” – Maya Angelou

“A good laugh makes any interview, or any conversation, so much better.” – Barbara Walters

“He who laughs, lasts.” – Mary Pettibone Poole

“A good laugh overcomes more difficulties and dissipates more dark clouds than any other one thing.” – Laura Ingalls Wilder

“There is nothing like a gleam of humor to reassure you that a fellow human being is ticking inside a strange face.” – Eva Hoffman

“Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.” – Bill Cosby

“A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It’s jolted by every pebble on the road.” – Henry Ward Beecher

“It is a curious fact that people are never so trivial as when they take themselves seriously.” – Oscar Wilde

“When humor goes, there goes civilization.” – Erma Bombeck

“A sense of humor… is needed armor. Joy in one’s heart and some laughter on one’s lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life.” – Hugh Sidey

“A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done” – Dwight D. Eisenhower

“I think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it.” – Frank A. Clark

“No mind is thoroughly well organized that is deficient in a sense of humor.” – Samuel Taylor Coleridge

“Comedy is acting out optimism.” – Robin Williams

“A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life.” – William Arthur Ward

“Humor can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing.” – Allen Klein

“Humor is just another defense against the universe.” – Mel Brooks

“Humor is laughing at what you haven’t got when you ought to have it.” – Langston Hughes

“Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others not; and that the two kinds are most oddly jumbled in everyday affairs.” – Christopher Morley

“If you could choose one characteristic that would get you through life, choose a sense of humor.” – Jennifer Jones

“Humor is something that thrives between man’s aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.” – Victor Borge

“Humor is the affectionate communication of insight.” – Leo Rosten

“Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you.” – Langston Hughes

“Next to power without honor, the most dangerous thing in the world is power without humor.” – Eric Sevareid

“The more I live, the more I think that humor is the saving sense.” – Jacob August Riis

Famous People Quotes #6

Posted on March 27, 2011 by

“The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, they finish by loading honors on your head.” – Jean Cocteau (1889-1963)

“Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.” – Georg Lichtenberg (1742-1799)

“Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it” – Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)

“While we are postponing, life speeds by.” – Seneca (3BC – 65AD)

“Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?” – Bumper Sticker

“God, please save me from your followers!” – Bumper Sticker

“Fill what’s empty, empty what’s full, and scratch where it itches.” – The Duchess of Windsor, when asked what is the secret of a long and happy life

“First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.” – Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948)

“Luck is the residue of design.” – Branch Rickey – former owner of the Brooklyn Dodger Baseball Team

“Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.” – Mel Brooks

“Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.” – Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)

“Wit is educated insolence.” – Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)

“My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you’ll be happy; if not, you’ll become a philosopher.” – Socrates (470-399 B.C.)

“Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t” – Erica Jong (1942-)

“Show me a woman who doesn’t feel guilty and I’ll show you a man.” – Erica Jong (1942-)

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou (1928-)

“Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.” – Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)

“A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.” – Gore Vidal

“Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.” – Samuel Palmer (1805-80)

“It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.” – Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

“The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.” – Aristotle Onassis (1906-1975)

“Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.” – Guy Davenport

“When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.” – Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

50 Motivational Quotes

Posted on January 31, 2011January 31, 2011 by

1. “Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Louis Pasteur, Michelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson and Albert Einstein.” ~H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

2. “You have brains in your head and feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You’re on your own and you know what you know.
And you are the one who’ll decide where to go.” ~Dr. Seuss

3. “Dedicate your life to a cause greater than yourself, and your life will become a glorious romance and adventure.” ~Mack Douglas

4. “The future is sending back good wishes and waiting arms.” ~Kobi Yamada

5. “If you aim at nothing, you’ll hit it every time.” ~B.J. Marshall

6. “So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon seem inevitable.” ~Christopher Reeve

7. “One of my best moves is to surround myself with friends who, instead of asking, “Why?” are quick to say, “Why not?” That attitude is contagious.” ~Oprah Winfrey

8. “Because of our routines we forget that life is an ongoing adventure.” ~Maya Angelou

9. “It’s easy to come up with big ideas. Just think of something that everyone agrees would be “wonderful” if it were only “possible”… and then set out to make it possible.” ~Armand Hammer

10. “Thousands of perceptions, hunches, ideas and intuitions race through our brains every day. Some are pure genius. Give them the red light for at least long enough to write them down.” ~Ralph Ford

11. “Your resources are always far greater than you imagine them to be. Never ask, “Can I do this?” Ask instead, “How can I do this?” ~Dan Zadra

14. “I would rather be ashes than dust; I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it should be stifled by dry-rot; I would rather be in a superb meteor, every atom of me in a magnificent glow than in a sleepy and permanent planet; the proper function of man is to live, not to exist; I should not waste my days in trying to prolong them; I shall USE my time.” ~Jack London

15. “Never retire! Do what you do and keep doing it. But don’t do it on Friday. Take Friday off. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, go fishing…Then Monday to Thursday, do what you’ve been doing all your life. My point is: Live full and don’t retreat.” ~Mel Brooks

16. “We are here on earth to good for others. What the others are here for I do not know.” ~W. H. Auden

17. “To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world.” ~Josephine Billings

18. “I get up every morning determined both to change the world and to have on hell of a good time. Sometimes this make planning the day difficult.” ~E.B. White

19. “If every American donated five hours a week, it would equal the labor of twenty million full-time volunteers.”
~Whoopi Goldberg

20. “If success is not not on your terms–if it looks good to the world but doesn’t not feel good in your own heart–it is no success at all.” ~Anna Quindlen

21. “I don’t want to get to the end of my life and find that I lived just the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well.” ~Diane Ackerman

22. “Remember that life is short and death is long.” ~Fritz Shoulder

23. “The best thing about the future is that is comes only one day at a time.” ~Abraham Lincoln

24. “Once social change begins, It cannot be reversed. You cannot uneducate the person who has learned to read. You cannot humiliate the person who feels pride. You cannot oppress the people who are not afraid anymore. We have seen the future, and the future is ours.” ~Cesar Chavez

25. “There are fish in the sea better than any that have ever been caught.” ~Irish Saying

26. “Whatever your past has been, you have a spotless future.” ~Author Unknown

27. “The greatest pain comes from not believing there is a future, not being able to dream about something better.” ~Author Unknown.

28. “Get excited and enthusiastic about your own dream. This excitement is like a forest fire…you can smell it, taste it, and see it from a mile away.” ~Denis Waitley

29. “Dreams pass into the reality of action. From the actions stems the dream again; and this interdependence produces the highest form of living. ~Anais Nin

30. “The only place where your dream becomes impossible is in your own thinking.” ~Robert H. Schuller

31. “The inability to open to hope is what blocks trust, and blocked trust is the reason for blighted dreams.” ~Elizabeth Gilbert

32. “People are never more insecure than when they become obsessed with their fears at the expense of their dreams.” ~Norman Cousins

33. “No person has the right to rain on your dreams.” ~Marian Wright Edelman

34. “Imagine all the people living life in peace. You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll join us, and the world will live as one.” ~John Lennon

35. “The dream was always running ahead of me. To catch up, to live for a moment in unison with it, that was the miracle.” ~Anais Nin

36. “Dreams come in a size too big so we can grow into them.” ~Josie Bisset

37. “A dream is your creative vision for your life in the future. You must break out of your current comfort zone and become comfortable with the unfamiliar and the unknown.” ~Denis Waitley

38. “Always remember that the future comes one day at a time.” ~Dean Acheson

39. “One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon – instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today.” ~Dale Carnegie

40. “The secret of making dreams come true can be summarized in four C’s. They are Curiosity, Confidence, Courage, and Constancy; and the greatest of these is Confidence.” ~Walt Disney

41. “Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.” ~Robert F. Kennedy

42. “Just remember…when you think all is lost, the future remains.” ~Bob Goddard

43. “Being fully present is the best guarantee for a bright future.” ~Guy Finley

44. “If you believe you can, you probably can. If you believe you won’t, you most assuredly won’t. Belief is the ignition switch that gets you off the launching pad.” ~Denis Waitley

45. “The future depends on what we do in the present.” ~Mahatma Gandhi

46. “To the youngsters of today, I say “Believe in the future, the world is getting better; there still is plenty of opportunity.” Why, would you believe it, when I was a kid I thought it was already too late for me to make good at anything.” ~Walt Disney

47. “Love is the time and space where “I” give myself the right to be extraordinary.” ~Julia Kristev

48. “We don’t have an eternity to realize our dreams – only the time we are here.” ~Susan L. Taylor

49. “You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.” ~Rosalynn Carter

50. How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” ~Anne Frank

Bonus: 51. “Action is the antidote to despair.” ~Joan Baez

Clever Quotes

Posted on December 15, 2010 by

Funny Clever Quotes

Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read. – Groucho Marx

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. – Mark Twain

I intend to live forever, or die trying. – Groucho Marx

Familiarity breeds contempt – and children. – Mark Twain

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die. – Mel Brooks

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it. – Groucho Marx

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath. – W. C. Fields

Golf is a good walk spoiled. – Mark Twain

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I’ll never know. – Groucho Marx

It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog. – Mark Twain

I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying. – Oscar Wilde

It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to. – W. C. Fields

Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said. – Mel Brooks

Too clever is dumb.- Ogden Nash

Clever Quotes on Life

Life is too important to be taken seriously. – Oscar Wilde

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do. – Benjamin Franklin

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes? – Groucho Marx

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead. – Benjamin Franklin

Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted. – John Lennon

Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. – Anonymous

Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment.
Cleverness is mere opinion, bewilderment is intuition. – Jalal al-Din Rumi

Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again. – Robert A. Heinlein

A clever man commits no minor blunders. – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made. – Groucho Marx

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. – H. L. Mencken

Clever Quotes about Life

The road to success is always under construction. – Lily Tomlin

Life is a constant oscillation between the sharp horns of dilemmas. – H. L. Mencken

Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile. – Albert Schweitzer

Old age is fifteen years older than I am. – Oliver Wendell Holmes

A man likes his wife to be just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness, and just stupid enough to admire it. – Israel Zangwill

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. – Isaac Asimov

Half the world is composed of idiots, the other half of people clever enough to take indecent advantage of them. – Walter Kerr

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the the universe. – Albert Einstein

I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones. – John Peel

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that! – Tom Lehrer

Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it. – Tom Lehrer

If you’re alive you’ve got to flap your arms and legs, you’ve got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therefore you must at very least think noisy and colorfully, or you’re not alive. – Mel Brooks

When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. – sometimes attributed to Franklin D. Roosevelt, Eleanor Roosevelt, or Thomas Jefferson, but…

Clever Quotes for Facebook

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. – Groucho Marx

Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. – Robert Frost

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution? – H. L. Mencken

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. – H. L. Mencken

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another. – H. L. Mencken

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop. – H. L. Mencken

Happiness is the china shop; love is the bull. – H. L. Mencken

Clever Sayings for Facebook

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. – Benjamin Franklin

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. – Oscar Wilde

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry. – Oscar Wilde

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. – George Burns

Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache. – Mae West

Clever Sayings

Don’t let schooling interfere with your education. – Mark Twain

Be careful not to do your good deeds when there’s no one watching you. – Tom Lehrer

The lack of money is the root of all evil. – Mark Twain

A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth. – Will Rogers

Clever Phrases

To the best of my knowledge the following clever phrases are all anonymous. Come to think of it, would anyone really admit to writing any of these clever phrases?

The light at the end of the tunnel may be an oncoming train.

I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

I love my attitude problem.

Some days you’re the dog, and some days you’re the hydrant.

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

Politicians and diapers need to be changed regularly, usually for the same reason.

Join the Army, travel the world, meet interesting people and kill them.

When everything comes your way you’re in the wrong lane.

Life is uncertain; always eat dessert first.

Half the people you know are below average.

Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Clever Sayings and Quotes

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow. – Mark Twain

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. – Oscar Wilde

If I had known what it would be like to have it all – I might have been willing to settle for less. – Lily Tomlin

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. – Oscar Wilde

Get the facts first. You can distort them later. – Mark Twain

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane. – Oscar Wilde

Nothing so needs reforming as other people’s habits. – Mark Twain

I can resist everything except temptation. – Oscar Wilde

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. – Mark Twain

By giving us the opinions of the uneducated, journalism keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community. – Oscar Wilde

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times. – Mark Twain

A man can’t be too careful in the choice of his enemies. – Oscar Wilde

Honesty is the best policy – when there is money in it. – Mark Twain