Friendship Quotes – a large collection of famous and inspirational quotes

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Funny Famous Quotes

– “If Harry Potter’s so magical, why cant he cure his own eyesight and get laid. A teenage lad shouldn’t need a broomstick to cling onto.” – Frankie Boyle

– “Barack Obama will appeal to both black and white voters in America. White voters who’ll think he’s Tiger Woods.” – Frankie Boyle

– “A vasectomy means never having to say you’re sorry.” – Unknown

– “It’s a recession when your neighbour loses his job: it’s a depression when you lose yours.” – Harry S. Truman

– “Scientists say because of global warming they expect the world’s oceans to rise four and a half feet. The scientists say this can mean only one thing – Gary Coleman is going to drown.” – Conan O’Brien

Joy Quotes

– “When we are centered in joy, we attain our wisdom.” – Marianne Williamson

– “Remember to light the candle of joy daily and all the gloom will disappear from your life.” – Djwhal Khul

– “You have to sniff out joy. Keep your nose to the joy trail.” – Buffy Sainte-Marie

– “Joy is untouched by circumstance.” – Unknown

– “In thy presence is fullness of joy.” – Psalms 16:11

– “Joy is the echo of God’s life in us.” – Abbot Coumba Marmion

– “We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.” – Guatama Buddha

– “What I know for sure is that you feel real JOY in direct proportion to how connected you are to living your truth.” – Oprah

– “Joy springs from within; no one makes you joyous; you choose joyfulness.” – Unknown

– “Thou has made known to me the ways of life; thou shalt make me full of joy with thy countenance.” – Acts 2:28

– “True joy results when we become aware of our connectedness to everything.” – Paul Pearsall

– “Winning is important to me, but what brings me real joy is the experience of being fully engaged in whatever I’m doing.” – Phil Jackson

– “Friendship improves happiness and abates misery, by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of our grief.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero

– “Joy is a sustained sense of well-being and internal peace – a connection to what matters.” – Oprah

– “Man loves because he is Love. He seeks Joy, for he is Joy. He thirsts for God for he is composed of God and he cannot exist without Him.” – Sathya Sai Baba

– “Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.” – Mark Twain

– “Joy is not in things; it is in us.” – Richard Wagner

– “Joy is the highest expression of love.” – Abraham-Hicks

– “Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls.” – Mother Teresa

– “Shared joy is double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow.” – Swedish proverb

Quotes about Women

– “Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.” – Bill Maher

– “A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car.” – Carrie Snow

– “You start out happy that you have no hips or boobs. All of a sudden you get them, and it feels sloppy. Then just when you start liking them, they start drooping.” – Cindy Crawford

– “Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.” – Laurence J. Peter

– “The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.” – Unknown

– “A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon.” – Arnold Haultain

– “Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.” – Charlotte Whitton

– “Women are always beautiful.” – Ville Valo

– “The two women exchanged the kind of glance women use when no knife is handy.” – Ellery Queen

– “Curve: The loveliest distance between two points.” – Mae West

– “Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women.” – Nicole Hollander

– “Women get the last word in every argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.” – Unknown

– “Next to the wound, what women make best is the bandage.” – Jules Barbey d’Aurevilly

– “A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are.” – Chauncey Mitchell Depew

– “The rarest thing in the world is a woman who is pleased with photographs of herself.” – Elizabeth Metcalf

– “There is a special place in hell for women who do not help other women.” – Madeleine K. Albright

– “A man’s face is his autobiography. A woman’s face is her work of fiction.” – Oscar Wilde

– “There’s something luxurious about having a girl light your cigarette. In fact, I got married once on account of that.” – Harold Robbins

– “When a man talks dirty to a woman, it’s sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $3.95 a minute.” – Unknown

– “Men get laid, but women get screwed.” – Quentin Crisp

– “The most popular image of the female despite the exigencies of the clothing trade is all boobs and buttocks, a hallucinating sequence of parabolae and bulges.” – Germaine Greer

– “Whether they give or refuse, it delights women just the same to have been asked.” – Ovid

– “Howiver, I’m not denyin’ the women are foolish: God Almighty made ’em to match the men.” – George Eliot, “The Harvest Supper”, Adam Bede

– “Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn’t want to own one.” – W.C. Fields

– “Women really do rule the world. They just haven’t figured it out yet. When they do, and they will, we’re all in big big trouble.” – Doctor Leon

Laugh Quotes

– “I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.” – Woody Allen

– “At the height of laughter, the universe is flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities. ” – Jean Houston

– “Even if there is nothing to laugh about, laugh on credit.” – Unknown

– “Mirth is God’s medicine. Everybody ought to bathe in it.” – Henry Ward Beecher

– “Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.” – Jack Handey, “Deep Thoughts”, Saturday Night Live

– “The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.” – Unknown

– “Laughter is an instant vacation.” – Milton Berle

– “What monstrous absurdities and paradoxes have resisted whole batteries of serious arguments, and then crumbled swiftly into dust before the ringing death-knell of a laugh!” – Agnes Repplier

– “So many tangles in life are ultimately hopeless that we have no appropriate sword other than laughter.” – Gordon W. Allport

– “Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.” – Victor Borge

– “What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul.” – Yiddish Proverb

– “When people are laughing, they’re generally not killing each other.” – Alan Alda

– “Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.” – Kurt Vonnegut

– “A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor’s book.” – Irish Proverb

– “Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.” – Bob Newhart

– “A hearty laugh gives one a dry cleaning, while a good cry is a wet wash.” – Puzant Kevork Thomajan

– “There can never be enough said of the virtues, dangers, the power of a shared laugh.” – Françoise Sagan

– “I’ve always thought that a big laugh is a really loud noise from the soul saying, «Ain’t that the truth.»” – Quincy Jones

– “Laughter is the corrective force which prevents us from becoming cranks.” – Henri Bergson

– “Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end.” – Max Eastman

– “A man isn’t poor if he can still laugh.” – Raymond Hitchcock

– “Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to remedy anything.” – Kurt Vonnegut

– “Remember, men need laughter sometimes more than food.” – Anna Fellows Johnston

– “No man who has once heartily and wholly laughed can be altogether irreclaimably bad.” – Thomas Carlyle, Sartor Resartus, Book I, chapter 4

– “You can’t deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants.” – Stephen King, Hearts in Atlantis

– “With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.” – Abraham Lincoln

– “Whoever said “laughter is the best medicine” never had gonorrhea.” – Kat Likkel and John Hoberg, My Name Is Earl, “Robbed a Stoner Blind”, original airdate 16 November 2006

– “Man, when you lose your laugh you lose your footing.” – Ken Kesey

Morning Quotes

– “If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.” – Henny Youngman

– “Lose an hour in the morning, and you will be all day hunting for it.” – Richard Whately

– “The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.” – Jean Kerr, Please Don’t Eat the Daisies, 1957

– “I’d like mornings better if they started later.” – Unknown

– “For what human ill does not dawn seem to be an alleviation?” – Thornton Wilder

– “Through the blackest night, morning gently tiptoes, feeling its way to dawn.” – Robert Brault

– “Be pleasant until ten o’clock in the morning and the rest of the day will take care of itself.” – Elbert Hubbard

– “The older generation thought nothing of getting up at five every morning – and the younger generation doesn’t think much of it either.” – John J. Welsh

– “If people were meant to pop out of bed, we’d all sleep in toasters.” – Unknown

– “Sadness flies on the wings of the morning and out of the heart of darkness comes the light.” – Jean Giraudoux

– “The sun is but a morning star.” – Henry David Thoreau, Walden

– “There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast.” – Unknown

– “There is no hope for a civilization which starts each day to the sound of an alarm clock.” – Unknown

– “I can see the orange haze on the horizon as the morning exhales a yawn, and seems to be ready to rise.” – Jeb Dickerson

– “I have a “carpe diem” mug and, truthfully, at six in the morning the words do not make me want to seize the day. They make me want to slap a dead poet.” – Joanne Sherman

– “Never work before breakfast; if you have to work before breakfast, eat your breakfast first.” – Josh Billings

– “The plans that I made when horizontal are working out now that I’m vertical.” – Betsy Cañas Garmon

– “Luxury is an ancient notion. There was once a Chinese mandarin who had himself wakened three times every morning simply for the pleasure of being told it was not yet time to get up.” – Argosy

– “One key to success is to have lunch at the time of day most people have breakfast.” – Robert Brault

– “The sun has not caught me in bed in fifty years.” – Thomas Jefferson

– “I’ll tell you how the sun rose a ribbon at a time.” – Emily Dickinson

– “To him whose elastic and vigorous thought keeps pace with the sun, the day is a perpetual morning.” – Henry David Thoreau

– “Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.” – Ambrose Bierce

– “No human being believes that any other human being has a right to be in bed when he himself is up.” – Robert Lynd

– “Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious.” – William Feather

– “Most people do not consider dawn to be an attractive experience – unless they are still up.” – Ellen Goodman

– “I don’t think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.” – Rita Rudner

Funny Motivational Quotes

– “Some people develop a wish bone where their back bone should be.” – Unknown

– “Some people not only expect opportunity to knock, they expect it to beat down the door.” – Unknown

– “Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.” – Ambrose Bierce

– “Start off every day with a smile and get it over with.” – W. C. Fields

– “Success comes in cans, failure in can’ts.” – Unknown

– “Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.” – Earl Nightingale

– “The best measure of a man’s honesty isn’t his income tax return. It’s the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.” – Arthur C. Clarke

– “The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office.” – Robert Frost

– “The difference between a mountain and a molehill is your perspective.” – Al Neuharth

– “The difference between an optimist and a pessimist is that an optimist thinks this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.” – Unknown

Childhood Quotes

– “There is a garden in every childhood, an enchanted place where colors are brighter, the air softer, and the morning more fragrant than ever again.” – Elizabeth Lawrence

– “Childhood is measured out by sounds and smells and sights, before the dark hour of reason grows.” – John Betjeman

– “Sweet childish days, that were as long
As twenty days are now.” – William Wordsworth, “To a Butterfly”

– “Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth – two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age.” – Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary, 1911

– “We could never have loved the earth so well if we had had no childhood in it.” – George Eliot, The Mill on the Floss, 1860

– “Childhood is the most beautiful of all life’s seasons.” – Unknown

– “Childhood is a promise that is never kept.” – Ken Hill

– “Childhood is the fiery furnace in which we are melted down to essentials and that essential shaped for good.” – Katherine Anne Porter

– “There is always one moment in childhood when the door opens and lets the future in.” – Graham Greene, The Power and the Glory

– “When you finally go back to your old hometown, you find it wasn’t the old home you missed but your childhood.” – Sam Ewing

– “In childhood, we press our nose to the pane, looking out. In memories of childhood, we press our nose to the pane, looking in.” – Robert Brault

– “The greatest poem ever known
Is one all poets have outgrown:
The poetry, innate, untold,
Of being only four years old.” – Christopher Morley, To a Child

– “If you carry your childhood with you, you never become older.” – Tom Stoppard

– “I’d give all wealth that years have piled,
The slow result of Life’s decay,
To be once more a little child
For one bright summer day.” – Lewis Carroll, “Solitude”

– “It is never too late to have a happy childhood.” – Tom Robbins

– “What we remember from childhood we remember forever – permanent ghosts, stamped, inked, imprinted, eternally seen.” – Cynthia Ozick

– “The childhood shows the man
As morning shows the day.” – John Milton, Paradise Regained

– “Childhood is a short season.” – Helen Hayes

– “He carried his childhood like a hurt warm bird held to his middle-aged breast.” – Herbert Gold

– “Childhood is that wonderful time of life when all you need to do to lose weight is take a bath.” – Unknown

– “The older I grow the more earnestly I feel that the few joys of childhood are the best that life has to give.” – Ellen Glasgow

– “Old age lives minutes slowly, hours quickly; childhood chews hours and swallows minutes.” – Malcolm de Chazal

Cute Quotes for your boyfriend

– “My boyfriend’s a tigger.” – Winnie the Pooh

– “Before I met you I never knew what it was like; to look at someone and smile for no reason.” – Unknown

– “If he loves you then don’t waste that, you might never be able to get it back.” – Laurel

– “Having a good boyfriend is like having a good bra, its all about support!” – Unknown

– “Every time I hear your voice, I hear another reason to keep you forever” – Suzanne

– “Two souls with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one.” – Friedrich Halm

– “Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.” – Joseph Addison

– “My boyfriend and I live together, which means we don’t have sex-ever. Now that the milk is free, we’ve both become lactose intolerant.” – Margaret Cho

– “Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life.” – Leo Buscaglia

– “I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times, in life after life, in age after age forever.” – Tagore

– “My boyfriend calls me «princess», but I think of myself more along the lines of «monkey» and «retard».” – Alicia Silverstone

– “It’s been said that you only truly fall in love once, but I don’t believe it. Every time I see you, I fall in love all over again” – Unknown

– “I wouldn’t call him a slave. I don’t whip him when he does something wrong. Just when he does something good.” – Shannon Elizabeth

– “True love does not come by finding the perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” – Jason Jordan

Hair Quotes

– “The hair is the richest ornament of women.” – Martin Luther

– “Hair brings one’s self-image into focus; it is vanity’s proving ground. Hair is terribly personal, a tangle of mysterious prejudices.” – Shana Alexander

– “Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like.” – Unknown

– “It seems no more than right that men should seize time by the forelock, for the rude old fellow, sooner or later, pulls all their hair out.” – George Dennison Prentice, Prenticeana, 1860

– “What’s the matter with you guys? The sight of blonde hair knocks you three rungs down on the evolutionary ladder.” – From the television show Civil Wars

– “The great ages of prose are the ages in which men shave. The great ages of poetry are those in which they allow their beards to grow.” – Robert Lynd

– “Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair.” – Kahlil Gibran

– “I’m not offended by all the dumb-blonde jokes because I know that I’m not dumb. I also know I’m not blonde.” – Dolly Parton

– “It was a blonde. A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained-glass window.” – Raymond Chandler

– “Hair style is the final tip-off whether or not a woman really knows herself.” – Hubert de Givenchy, Vogue, July 1985

– “Babies haven’t any hair:
Old men’s heads are just as bare;
From the cradle to the grave
Lies a haircut and a shave.” – Samuel Goodman Hoffenstein

– “Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.” – Sam Ewing

– “Women…. Who made ’em? God must have been a… genius. Their hair. They say that the hair is everything, you know? Have you ever buried your nose in a mountain of curls, and just wanted to go to sleep forever?” – Bo Goldman, “The Start of an Education”, made popular by the movie Scent of a Woman

– “When red headed people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn.” – Mark Twain, A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court

– “Those curious locks so aptly twin’d,
Whose every hair a soul doth bind.” – Thomas Carew

– “If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in a library?” – Lily Tomlin

– “Long, beautiful, gleaming, steaming, flaxen, waxen… I adore hair!” – James Rado and Gerome Ragni, Hair

– “Violet will be a good color for hair at just about the same time that brunette becomes a good color for flowers.” – Fran Lebowitz

– “Beauty draws us with a single hair.” – Alexander Pope

– “Gentlemen prefer blondes… but gentlemen marry brunettes.” – Anita Loos

Cute Quotes

– “You don’t know what you’ve got till its gone..” – Unknown

– “You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is ‘never try’ .” – Homer Simpson

– “Anyone can catch your eye but it takes someone special to catch your heart.” – Unknown

– “Once upon a time, something happened to m, it was the sweetest thing, that ever could be, it was a fantasy, a dream come true, it was the day I met you.” – Unknown

– “The best proof of love is trust.” – Dr. Joyce Brothers

– “Love is what makes two people sit in the middle of a bench when there is plenty of room at both ends.” – Unknown

– “Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.” – Jackson Brown Jr.

– “Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.” – Unknown

– “Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes…….just be an illusion.” – Unknown

– “Love is like wildflowers; It’s often found in the most unlikely places.” – Unknown

– “When you are in Love you can’t fall asleep because reality is better than your dreams.” – Unknown