Friendship Quotes – a large collection of famous and inspirational quotes

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Quotes of the Day

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Language is one of the fundamental principles of human understanding. It is the way we interact with each other and how we grasp the world we live in. – Unknown

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics. – Benjamin Disraeli

People are very open-minded about new things — as long as they’re exactly like the old ones. – Charles Kettering

The 2 timeless drivers that underpin the behavior of every generation: the need to belong and the need to be significant. – Unknown

The man of wisdom is never of two minds; the man of benevolence never worries; the man of courage is never afraid. – Confucius

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost. – Billy Graham

Intelligence is the ability to avoid doing work, yet getting the work done. – Linus Torvalds

Friendship Quotes and Sayings

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“In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

“All love that has not friendship for its base, is like a mansion built upon the sand.” ~Ella Wheeler Wilcox

“Do not save your loving speeches for your friends till they are dead; do not write them on their tombstones, speak them rather now instead. ~Anna Cummins

“My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.” ~Henry Ford

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares. ~Henri Nouwen

“With every friend I love who has been taken into the brown bosom of the earth a part of me has been buried there; but their contribution to my being of happiness, strength and understanding remains to sustain me in an altered world.” ~ Helen Keller

“One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.” ~ Euripides, Greek playwrite

“There are many types of ships. There are wooden ships ,plastic ships, and metal ships. But the best and most important types of ships are friendships.” ~Robert J. Badar JR.

“My best friend was born in a manger” ~Kimberly Dawn

“A true friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world has walked away.” ~Kimberly Dawn

Friendship Quotes and Sayings“A friend is someone who is there for you when he’d rather be anywhere else.” ~ Len Wein

“Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead. Walk beside me and be my friend.” ~ Albert Camus

“A true friend is one who knows all about you, and still likes you.” ~Kimberly Dawn

“The greatest good you can do for another is not just share your riches, but to reveal to him, his own.” ~Benjamin Disraeli

“Scatter seeds of kindness everywhere you go; Scatter bits of courtesy….watch them grow and grow. Gather buds of friendship; Keep them till full-blown; You will find more happiness than you have ever known. ~ Amy R Raabe

“The most beautiful discovery that true friends can make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.” ~Elizabeth Foley

I’d rather have two good friends, than 500,000 admirers.– E.E. Cummings

The only service a friend can really render is to keep up your courage by holding up to you a mirror in which you can see a noble image of yourself. ~G. B. Shaw

“A true friend is the greatest of all blessings and the one which we take the least thought to aquire.” –Francois, Duc de la Rochefoucauld

“The only way to have a friend is to be one.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Celebrate the happiness that friends are always giving, make everyday a holiday and celebrate just living.” –Amanda Bradley

A friend can tell you things you don’t want to tell yourself. ~Frances Ward Weller

“If I had one gift that I could give you, my friend, it would be the ability to see yourself as others see you, because only then would you know how extremely special you are.” ~B.A. Billingsly

We all need friends with whom we can speak of our deepest concerns, and who do not fear to speak the truth in love to us. ~Margaret Guenther

Life Quotes

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It takes as much courage to have tried and failed as it does to have tried and succeeded – Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Most of us have far more courage than we ever dreamed we possessed- Dale Carnegie

To retaliate in kind would do nothing but intensify the existence of hate in the universe. Along the way of life, someone must have sense enough, and morality enough, to cut off the chain of hate. –Martin Luther King Jr

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. ~ Sophocles

People need love even when they don’t deserve it. ~ Nikki Ledbetter

I wonder how many people never get the one they want, but end up with the one they’re supposed to have- Fried Green Tomatoes

I don’t know. It’s like, there’s this person that you want to be for other people. To make them proud of you. And then there’s you. And sometimes it’s hard to tell where one ends and the other begins. – Dawson’s Creek

Everyone can be okay, but it takes a real person to smile through the pain. – Michaela Marie

Courage is not defined by those who fought and did not fall … but those who fought, fell, and rose again. – Unknown

When you spend your life worrying about how others feel, you lose track of how you feel. – Unknown

I think that somehow, we learn who we really are and then live with that decision. – Eleanor Roosevelt

It’s impossible to please everyone so I suggest we all stop trying. – Jennifer Aniston

The world is so much better when you’re dreaming… – The Youth Ahead

When things are perfect, that’s when you need to worry most. – Drew Barrymore

If you tell the truth, you don’t have o remember anything- Mark Twain

Life QuotesSurround yourself with people you love being yourself with. – Unknown

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. – Buddha

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter –MLK Jr.

Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth- Benjamin Disraeli

Sometimes paper is the only thing that will listen to you. – Unknown

Your life is the sum result of all the choices you make, both consciously and unconsciously. If you can control the process of choosing, you can take control of all aspects of your life. You can find the freedom that comes from being in charge of yourself. – Robert F. Bennett

Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.- Bob Newhart

Forgiving is not forgetting, it’s letting go of the hurt. – Unknown

If you want to hear the truth, listen to the heart, because it doesn’t know how to lie- Gingerale

No matter the consequence those who are honest with themselves get further in life. – Unknown

Life is like fresh fallen snow, be careful where you walk, for every step will show. – Unknown

You never find yourself until you face the truth.- Pearl Bailey

Don’t put too much in any one person…they have a habit of taking more than you may be prepared to give. – Unknown

The most wasted day of all is that which we have not laughed. – Unknown

In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility. – Eleanor Roosevelt

What we call the secret of happiness is no more a secret than our willingness to choose life. – Leo Buscaglia

Once in a while it really hits people that they don’t have to experience the world in the way they have been told to.- Alan Keightley

If youre going to get in trouble for hitting someone, you might as well do it hard. – Unknown

Funny, sometimes it’s the smallest decistions that change your life forever. – Unknown

When I do something great, no one ever seems to remember, but when I do something wrong, no one can ever seem to forget. – Unknown

Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% of how you respond to it. – Unknown

To be persuasive, we must be believable. To be believable, we must be credible. To be credible, we must be truthful.- Hellmut Walters

Truth isn’t always beauty, but the hunger for it is.- Nadine Gordimer

Learn to see things as they really are, not as we imagine they are. – Vernon Howard

There is no shame in finding someone else to be attractive, or good company. Even if they don’t like you, there is still no shame. If you happen to be fond of someone, and they’re not fond of you, it’s OK…You don’t have to wait and see if they’ll love you back. You can announce it…Joy in life comes from expressing ourselves, in taking risks and jumping in. Everyone is not going to like you. But you can like who you like.- Andrew Matthews

Music Quotes

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– “Music is enough for a lifetime, but a lifetime is not enough for music” – Sergei Rachmaninov

– “A painter paints pictures on canvas. But musicians paint their pictures on silence.” – Leopold Stokowski

– “Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.” – Berthold Auerbach

– “All deep things are song. It seems somehow the very central essence of us, song; as if all the rest were but wrappages and hulls!” – Thomas Carlyle

– “If the King loves music, it is well with the land.” – Mencius

– “Without music life would be a mistake.” – Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

– “Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons. You will find it is to the soul what a water bath is to the body.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes

– “If a composer could say what he had to say in words he would not bother trying to say it in music.” – Gustav Mahler

– “Why waste money on psychotherapy when you can listen to the B Minor Mass?” – Michael Torke

– “He who sings scares away his woes.” – Cervantes

– “Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness.” – Maya Angelou, Gather Together in My Name

– “Were it not for music, we might in these days say, the Beautiful is dead.” – Benjamin Disraeli

– “Music is what feelings sound like.” – Unknown

Happiness Quotes

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– “When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.” – Helen Keller

– “Happiness does not consist in pastimes and amusements but in virtuous activities.” – Aristotle

– “Happiness resides not in posessions and not in gold; the feeling of happiness dwells in the soul.” – Democritus

– “People with many interests live, not only longest, but happiest.” – George Matthew Allen

– “In the hopes of reaching the moon men fail to see the flowers that blossom at their feet.” – Albert Schweitzer

– “Happiness is not achieved by the conscious pursuit of happiness; it is generally the by-product of other activities.” – Aldous Huxley

– “There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you.” – David Burns, Intimate Connections

– “The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions—the little soon-forgotten charities of a kiss, a smile, a kind look, a heartfelt compliment in the disguise of a playful raillery, and the countless other infinitessimals of pleasurable thought and genial feeling.” – Samuel Taylor Coleridge

– “Men spend their lives in anticipations,—in determining to be vastly happy at some period when they have time. But the present time has one advantage over every other—it is our own. Past opportunities are gone, future have not come. We may lay in a stock of pleasures, as we would lay in a stock of wine; but if we defer the tasting of them too long, we shall find that both are soured by age.” – Charles Caleb Colton

– “Who is the happiest of men? He who values the merits of others, and in their pleasure takes joy, even as though ’twere his own.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

– “The chances are that you have already come to believe that happiness is unattainable. But men have attained it. And they have attained it by realising that happiness does not spring from the procuring of physical or mental pleasure, but from the development of reason and the adjustment of conduct to principles.” – from How to Live on 24 Hours a Day, by Arnold Bennett

– “Happiness is not a matter of events, it depends upon the tides of the mind.” – Alice Meynell

– “Fortify yourself with contentment, for this is an impregnable fortress.” – Epictetus

– “Happiness depends more on the inward disposition of mind than on outward circumstances.” – Benjamin Franklin

– “There is only one way to happiness, and that is to cease worrying things which are beyond the power of our will.” – Epictetus

– “I have learned to seek my happiness by limiting my desires, rather than attempting to satisfy them.” – John Stuart Mills

– “You’re happiest while you’re making the greatest contribution.” – Robert F. Kennedy

– “Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action.” – Benjamin Disraeli

– “Great effort from great motives is the best definition of a happy life.” – William Ellery Channing

– “There is more to life than increasing its speed.” – Mahatma Ghandi

– “The rays of happiness, like those of light, are colorless when unbroken.” – Henry W. Longfellow

– “Happiness grows at our own firesides, and is not to be picked in strangers’ gardens.” –
Douglas Jerrold

– “Happiness is where we find it, but rarely where we seek it.” – J. Petit Senn

– “To be happy, we must not be too concerned with others.” – Albert Camus

– “Happiness depends upon ourselves.” – Aristotle

– “Try to be happy in this present moment, and put not off being so to a time to come,—as though that time should be of another make from this which has already come and is ours.” – Thomas Fuller

– “Knowledge of what is possible is the beginning of happiness.” – George Santayana

– “No man is happy who does not think himself so.” – Publilius Syrus

– “Our minds are as different as our faces: we are all traveling to one destination; –happiness; but few are going by the same road.” – Charles Caleb Colton

Motivational Quotes

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– “Always do what you are afraid to do.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

– “Take calculated risks. That is quite different from being rash.” – George S. Patton

– “If you do not hope, you will not find what is beyond your hopes.” – St. Clement of Alexandra

– “We are all inventors, each sailing out on a voyage of discovery, guided each by a private chart, of which there is no duplicate. The world is all gates, all opportunities.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

– “Seek the lofty by reading, hearing and seeing great work at some moment every day.” – Thornton Wilder

– “The only way of finding the limits of the possible is by going beyond them into the impossible.” – Arthur C. Clarke

– “Without inspiration the best powers of the mind remain dormant, they is a fuel in us which needs to be ignited with sparks.” – Johann Gottfried Von Herder

– “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.” – Aristotle

– “Work spares us from three evils: boredom, vice, and need.” – Voltaire

– “Experience is the child of thought, and thought is the child of action.” – Benjamin Disraeli

– “You cannot plough a field by turning it over in your mind.” – Unknown

– “The best way out is always through.” – Robert Frost

– “Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking.” – William B. Sprague

– “Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must first be overcome.” – Samuel Johnson

– “Fortune favors the brave.” – Publius Terence

– “Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.” – Confucius

– “Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.” – Albert Einstein

– “Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

– “We are still masters of our fate. We are still captains of our souls.” – Winston Churchill

– “Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

– “For hope is but the dream of those that wake.” – Matthew Prior

– “Constant dripping hollows out a stone.” – Lucretius

– “Nothing contributes so much to tranquilize the mind as a steady purpose – a point on which the soul may fix its intellectual eye.” – Mary Shelley

Never Regret Quotes

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I leave no trace of wings in the air, but I am glad I have had my flight. – Rabindranath Tagore

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. – The Buddha

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. – Lao Tzu

Accept everything about yourself – I mean everything. You are you and that is the beginning and the end – no apologies, no regrets. – Henry Kissinger

With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts. – Eleanor Roosevelt

Write your Sad times in Sand, Write your Good times in Stone. – George Bernard Shaw

Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened. – Anonymous

My Mama always said you’ve got to put the past behind you before you can move on. – Forrest Gump movie

I have often regretted my speech, but never my silence. – Publilius Syrus

I never regret anything. Because every little detail of your life is what made you into who you are in the end. – Drew Barrymore

Never regret anything you have done with a sincere affection; nothing is lost that is born of the heart. – Basil Rathbone

Make it a rule of life never to regret and never to look back. – Katherine Mansfield

It’s better to regret something you did than to regret something you didn’t do. – Anonymous

Fools live to regret their words, wise men to regret their silence. – Will Henry

If you aren’t in the moment, you are either looking forward to uncertainty, or back to pain and regret. – Jim Carrey

Simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret. – don Miguel Angel Ruiz

Speak when you are angry – and you will make the best speech you’ll ever regret. – Laurence J. Peter

I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country. – Nathan Hale

Youth is a blunder; Manhood a struggle, Old Age a regret. – Benjamin Disraeli

Regrets and recriminations only hurt your soul. – Armand Hammer

Know how to give without hesitation, how to lose without regret, how to acquire without meanness. – George Sand

A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams. – John Barrymore

What’s done is done. – William Shakespeare

For all sad words of tongue and pen, The saddest are these, “It might have been”. – John Greenleaf Whittier

He who spends time regretting the past loses the present and risks the future. – Quevedo

Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future. – Oscar Wilde

Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes. – Oscar Wilde

Regret is an appalling waste of energy, you can’t build on it – it’s only good for wallowing in. – Katherine Mansfield

As you grow older, you’ll find the only things you regret are the things you didn’t do. – Zachary Scott

Success Quotes

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In the end, you’re measured not by how much you undertake but by what you finally accomplish. – Donald Trump

Part of being a winner is knowing when enough is enough. Sometimes you have to give up the fight and walk away, and move on to something that’s more productive. – Donald Trump

A man can succeed at almost anything for which he has unlimited enthusiasm. – Charles Schwab

I do not think that there is any other quality so essential to success of any kind as the quality of perseverance. It overcomes almost everything, even nature. – John D. Rockfeller

If you want to succeed you should strike out on new paths, rather than travel the worn paths of accepted success. – John D. Rockfeller

Singleness of purpose is one of the chief essentials for success in life, no matter what may be one’s aim. – John D. Rockfeller

The most important thing for a young man is to establish a credit… a reputation, character. – John D. Rockfeller

It’s fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure. – Bill Gates

Before everything else, getting ready is the secret of success. – Henry Ford

Enthusiasm is the yeast that makes your hopes shine to the stars. Enthusiasm is the sparkle in your eyes, the swing in your gait. The grip of your hand, the irresistible surge of will and energy to execute your ideas. – Henry Ford

If everyone is moving forward together, then success takes care of itself. – Henry Ford

If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own. – Henry Ford

A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him. – David Brinkley

Action is the foundational key to all success. – Pablo Picasso

Don’t aim for success if you want it; just do what you love and believe in, and it will come naturally. – David Frost

Flaming enthusiasm, backed up by horse sense and persistence, is the quality that most frequently makes for success. – Dale Carnegie

I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. – Bill Cosby

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it. – W. C. Fields

The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary. – Vince Lombardi

In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure. – Bill Cosby

Most people give up just when they’re about to achieve success. They quit on the one yard line. They give up at the last minute of the game one foot from a winning touchdown. – Ross Perot

One secret of success in life is for a man to be ready for his opportunity when it comes. – Benjamin Disraeli

People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing. – Dale Carnegie

If you believe in what you are doing, then let nothing hold you up in your work. Much of the best work of the world has been done against seeming impossibilities. The thing is to get the work done. – Dale Carnegie

Instead of worrying about what people say of you, why not spend time trying to accomplish something they will admire. – Dale Carnegie

Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all. – Dale Carnegie

One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today. – Dale Carnegie

The successful man will profit from his mistakes and try again in a different way. – Dale Carnegie

When fate hands you a lemon, make lemonade. – Dale Carnegie

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. – Winston Churchill

Success has a simple formula: do your best, and people may like it. – Sam Ewing

Success is blocked by concentrating on it and planning for it… Success is shy – it won’t come out while you’re watching. – Tennessee Williams

Success is like death. The more successful you become, the higher the houses in the hills get and the higer the fences get. – Kevin Spacey

Success is simple. Do what’s right, the right way, at the right time. – Arnold H. Glasow

Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure. – Earl Wilson

Whatever you have, you must either use or lose.  – Henry Ford

Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy. – Dale Carnegie

I try to learn from the past, but I plan for the future by focusing exclusively on the present. That’s were the fun is. – Donald Trump

Without passion you don’t have energy, without energy you have nothing. – Donald Trump

If you want to achieve things in life, you’ve just got to do them, and if you’re talented and smart, you’ll succeed. – Juliana Hatfield

Leadership Quotes

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When the best leader’s work is done the people say, “We did it ourselves.” – Lao Tzu

If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader. – John Quincy Adams

Your example is far more influential and inspiring than any words of instruction, or threats, or even words of encouragement. – Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You do not lead by hitting people over the head – that’s assault, not leadership. – Dwight Eisenhower

I cannot trust a man to control others who cannot control himself. – Robert E. Lee

When we step on the battlefield, I will be
The First Boots On and the Last Boots Off. – LtG. Hal Moore

Great leaders are almost always great simplifiers, who can cut through argument, debate, and doubt to offer a solution everybody can understand. – Colin Powell

Never trust spiritual leader who doesn’t dance. – Miyagi: character in movie The Next Karate Kid

Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them? – Abraham Lincoln

An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come. – Victor Hugo

Go to the people
Live among them
Learn from them
Love them
Serve them
Plan with them
Start with what they know
Build on what they have. – Jimmy Yen (Y. C. James Yen)

Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it. – Dwight Eisenhower

Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity. – George S. Patton

I must follow the people. Am I not their leader? – Benjamin Disraeli

Lead, follow, or get out of the way. – Thomas Paine

The art of leadership… consists in consolidating the attention of the people against a single adversary and taking care that nothing will split up that attention. – Adolf Hitler

A coach is someone who can give correction without causing resentment. – John Wooden

Being a leader is like being a lady, if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren’t. – Margaret Thatcher

As we look ahead into the next century, leaders will be those who empower others. – Bill Gates

It is amazing how much you can accomplish when it doesn’t matter who gets the credit. – Anonymous

A genuine leader is not a searcher for consensus but a molder of consensus. – Martin Luther King, Jr.

There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living. – Nelson Mandela

Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things. – Peter Drucker

The very essence of leadership is that you have to have a vision. It’s got to be a vision you articulate clearly and forcefully on every occasion. – Theodore Hesburgh

Powerful Dreams Inspire Powerful Action. – Unknown

When you can taste, smell, and touch your dreams, you can enroll the world. – Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Good business leaders create a vision, articulate the vision, passionately own the vision, and relentlessly drive it to completion. – Jack Welch

Funny Quotes to make you laugh

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Men are like steel; both are worthless when they loose their temper. — Source Unknown

What if “the hokey pokey” is REALLY what it’s all about? — Curtis Spencer

We are the people our parents warned us about. — Jimmy Buffett

Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them…well, I have others. — Groucho Marx

The nice part of living in a small town is that when I don’t know what I’m doing, someone else does. — Source Unknown

USA Today has come out with a new survey-apparently, three out of every four people make up 75 percent of the population. — Dave Letterman

You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R’s only one begins with an R. — Dennis Miller

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. — Albert Einstein

Hain’t we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain’t that a big enough majority in any town? — Mark Twain

A good metaphor is something even the police should keep an eye on. — G. C. Lichtenberg

I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces. — Mark Twain

Although it is generally known, I think it’s about time to announce that I was born at a very early age. — Groucho Marx

I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind! The answer is twelve? I think I’m in the wrong building. — Charles Shulz

Convent. A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness. — Ambrose Bierce

I adore political parties. They are the only place left to us where people don’t talk politics. — Oscar Wilde

Plagiarists at least have the quality of preservation. — Benjamin Disraeli

I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers. — Mahatma Gandhi

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy — the mother. — Claudette Colbert

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments. — Flip Wilson

I know all those people. I have friendly, social, and criminal relations with the whole lot of them. — Mark Twain

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. What do you mean? responded her mother. Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came back with another. — Source Unknown

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you. — Groucho Marx

The trouble with the world is not that people know too little, but that they know so many things that ain’t so. — Mark Twain

He has not a single redeeming defect. — Benjamin Disraeli

When you get to my age life seems little more than one long march to and from the lavatory. — John Mortimer

Last night the creative juices were flowing but today I am merely a vast wasteland of random thoughts. — Peckeroy

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it. — Groucho Marx

In Mexico an air conditioner is called a politician because it makes a lot of noise but doesn’t work very well. — Len Deighton

My sole inspiration is a telephone call from a director. — Cole Porter

He believes that marriage and a career don’t mix. So after the wedding he plans to quit his job. — Source Unknown