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Benny Hill Quotes

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Benny-Hill-Posters– “Just because nobody complains doesn’t mean all parachutes are perfect.” – Benny Hill
– “Roses are reddish/ Violets are bluish/ If it weren’t for Christmas/ We’d all be Jewish.” – Benny Hill
– “I’m not against half naked girls – not as often as I’d like to be.” – Benny Hill
– “The odds against there being a bomb on a plane are a million to one, and against two bombs a million times a million to one. Next time you fly, cut the odds and take a bomb.” – Benny Hill
– “I thought I couldn’t afford to take her out and smoke as well. So I gave up cigarettes. Then I took her out and one day I looked at her and thought: “Oh well,” and I went back to smoking again, and that was better.” – Benny Hill

– “We have a little bit of everything. We have entertainment in the bar, a pool room and kids menus, we have a comedy club that has been going on for years and we always do something special with that on New Year’s Eve.” – Benny Hill

– “That’s what show business is, sincere insincerity.” – Benny Hill

– “Those hot pants of hers were so damned tight, I could hardly breathe.” – Benny Hill

– “Why would I make one woman so miserable when I can make so many women very happy?” – Benny Hill

Life Quotes

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«Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.» — Albert Einstein

«There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.» — Albert Schweitzer

«Expect nothing, live frugally on surprise.» — Alice Walker

«A useless life is an early death.» — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

«Life is short, but there is always time enough for courtesy.» — Ralph Waldo Emerson

«A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.» — Robert Frost

«The dead might as well try to speak to the living as the old to the young.» — Willa Cather

«When it comes to getting things done, we need fewer architects and more bricklayers.» — Colleen C. Barrett

«The world is filled with willing people; some willing to work, the rest willing to let them.» — Robert Frost

«Nothing could be worse than the fear that one had given up too soon, and left one unexpended effort that might have saved the world.» — Jane Addams

«The decay of Logic results from an] untroubled assumption that the particular is real and the universal is not.» — C.S. Lewis

«Believe there is a great power silently working all things for good, behave yourself and never mind the rest.» — Beatrix Potter

«And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.» — Martin Luther King Jr.

«An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity.» — Martin Luther King Jr.

«Without leaps of imagination or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all is a form of planning.» — Gloria Steinem

«Onward and Upward! To Narnia and the North!» — C.S. Lewis

«What affects one in a major way, affects all in a minor way.» — Martin Luther King Jr.

«To live is Christ, to die is gain Php 1:21» — Various

«Respect for self is the beginning of cultivating virtue in men and women.» — Gordon B. Hinckley

«Tomorrow is fresh, with no mistakes in it.» — L.M. Montgomery

«…it (feminism) is mixed up with a muddled idea that women are free when they serve their employers but slaves when they help their husbands.» — G.K. Chesterton

«All you need is trust and a little bit of pixie dust!» — J.M. Barrie

«Anything that makes weak – physically, intellectually and spiritually, reject it as poison.» — Swami Vivekananda

«Failure? I never encountered it. All I ever met were temporary setbacks.» — Dottie Walters

«A hero cannot be a hero unless in a heroic world.» — Nathaniel Hawthorne

«Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.» — Ralph Waldo Emerson

«There are few sources of energy so powerful as a procrastinating college student.» — Paul Graham

«One should become the master of one’s mind rather than let one’s mind master him.» — Nichiren Daishonin

«There must be those among whom we can sit down and weep and still be counted as warriors.» — Adrienne Rich

«Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.» — Oscar Wilde

«Prayers said by good people are always good prayers» — Willa Cather

«Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.» — Les Brown

«I have no time to justify you, fool, youre blind, step aside from me» — Dave Matthews Band

«Two roads diverged in a wood, and I…I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.» — Robert Frost

Cars Quotes

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A broad margin of leisure is as beautiful in a man’s life as in a book. Haste makes waste, no less in life than in housekeeping. Keep the time, observe the hours of the universe, not of the cars. – Henry David Thoreau

A lot of celebrities just want money, fame, power, fancy cars, houses all over the world and have people bow down to them. To me, that’s frightful behaviour. – Shirley Manson

About 60 percent of the oil consumed daily by Americans is used for transportation, and about 45 percent is used for passenger cars and light trucks. – Sherwood Boehlert

All those rappers, they’re the only glamorous people working in music now. They dress up in these chains of gold, cars, girls and this and that, high-heeled shoes. – Bryan Ferry

As human beings, we’re very materialistic and have all this stuff – furs and cars and diamonds and money. – Smokey Robinson

Back in the mid-1970s, we adopted some fairly ambitious goals to improve efficiency of our cars. What did we get? We got a tremendous boost in efficiency. – Jay Inslee

Back then the cars had a trap door that we could pull open with a chain to check our tire wear.  – Tim Flock

But I’ve never felt that being an actress is being in a comfortable place. It’s seen from the outside that we’re being driven in big cars and having these gorgeous suites and all of that. But come on, it’s not about that. – Juliette Binoche

But my passion is racing cars. It’s what I like to do in my off time. – Mark-Paul Gosselaar

But the thing about bad guys is that they have the biggest bosomed blond, they have great clothes and cars, and get great death scenes. – Eric Roberts

But to personally satisfy my own adrenalin needs, I’ve been racing cars a little bit, which has been fun. – Picabo Street

Can I tell you how strange it is to look in your rearview mirror and see guys in cars tailing you? – David Schwimmer

Cars, furs, and gems were not my weaknesses. – Gene Tierney

Celebrity is hawking make-up, cars, everything; it’s shifted. – Janice Dickinson

Corn ethanol can help in the short term, but it has serious limitations, and none of this is going to work if we don’t dramatically improve the efficiency of our cars and trucks. – David Friedman

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. – E. Joseph Cossman

Electric cars aren’t pollution-free; they have to get their energy from somewhere. – Alexandra Paul

Environmentalists have a very conflicted relationship with their cars. – Tom Arnold

Family trips to Yellowstone and to what are now national parks in Southern Utah, driving the primitive roads and cars of that day, were real adventures. – Paul D. Boyer

Fast cars are my only vice. – Michael Bay

Clever Quotes

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Funny Clever Quotes

Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read. – Groucho Marx

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. – Mark Twain

I intend to live forever, or die trying. – Groucho Marx

Familiarity breeds contempt – and children. – Mark Twain

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die. – Mel Brooks

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it. – Groucho Marx

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath. – W. C. Fields

Golf is a good walk spoiled. – Mark Twain

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I’ll never know. – Groucho Marx

It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog. – Mark Twain

I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying. – Oscar Wilde

It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to. – W. C. Fields

Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said. – Mel Brooks

Too clever is dumb.- Ogden Nash

Clever Quotes on Life

Life is too important to be taken seriously. – Oscar Wilde

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do. – Benjamin Franklin

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes? – Groucho Marx

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead. – Benjamin Franklin

Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted. – John Lennon

Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. – Anonymous

Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment.
Cleverness is mere opinion, bewilderment is intuition. – Jalal al-Din Rumi

Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again. – Robert A. Heinlein

A clever man commits no minor blunders. – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made. – Groucho Marx

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. – H. L. Mencken

Clever Quotes about Life

The road to success is always under construction. – Lily Tomlin

Life is a constant oscillation between the sharp horns of dilemmas. – H. L. Mencken

Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile. – Albert Schweitzer

Old age is fifteen years older than I am. – Oliver Wendell Holmes

A man likes his wife to be just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness, and just stupid enough to admire it. – Israel Zangwill

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. – Isaac Asimov

Half the world is composed of idiots, the other half of people clever enough to take indecent advantage of them. – Walter Kerr

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the the universe. – Albert Einstein

I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones. – John Peel

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that! – Tom Lehrer

Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it. – Tom Lehrer

If you’re alive you’ve got to flap your arms and legs, you’ve got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therefore you must at very least think noisy and colorfully, or you’re not alive. – Mel Brooks

When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. – sometimes attributed to Franklin D. Roosevelt, Eleanor Roosevelt, or Thomas Jefferson, but…

Clever Quotes for Facebook

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. – Groucho Marx

Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. – Robert Frost

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution? – H. L. Mencken

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. – H. L. Mencken

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another. – H. L. Mencken

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop. – H. L. Mencken

Happiness is the china shop; love is the bull. – H. L. Mencken

Clever Sayings for Facebook

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. – Benjamin Franklin

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. – Oscar Wilde

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry. – Oscar Wilde

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. – George Burns

Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache. – Mae West

Clever Sayings

Don’t let schooling interfere with your education. – Mark Twain

Be careful not to do your good deeds when there’s no one watching you. – Tom Lehrer

The lack of money is the root of all evil. – Mark Twain

A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth. – Will Rogers

Clever Phrases

To the best of my knowledge the following clever phrases are all anonymous. Come to think of it, would anyone really admit to writing any of these clever phrases?

The light at the end of the tunnel may be an oncoming train.

I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

I love my attitude problem.

Some days you’re the dog, and some days you’re the hydrant.

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

Politicians and diapers need to be changed regularly, usually for the same reason.

Join the Army, travel the world, meet interesting people and kill them.

When everything comes your way you’re in the wrong lane.

Life is uncertain; always eat dessert first.

Half the people you know are below average.

Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Clever Sayings and Quotes

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow. – Mark Twain

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. – Oscar Wilde

If I had known what it would be like to have it all – I might have been willing to settle for less. – Lily Tomlin

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. – Oscar Wilde

Get the facts first. You can distort them later. – Mark Twain

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane. – Oscar Wilde

Nothing so needs reforming as other people’s habits. – Mark Twain

I can resist everything except temptation. – Oscar Wilde

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. – Mark Twain

By giving us the opinions of the uneducated, journalism keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community. – Oscar Wilde

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times. – Mark Twain

A man can’t be too careful in the choice of his enemies. – Oscar Wilde

Honesty is the best policy – when there is money in it. – Mark Twain

Amelia Earhart Quotes

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“Courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace.”

“The most effective way to do it, is to do it.”

“Anticipation, I suppose, sometimes exceeds realization.”

“…decide…whether or not the goal is worth the risks involved. If it is, stop worrying….”

“Worry retards reaction and makes clear-cut decisions impossible.”

“Better do a good deed near at home than go far away to burn incense.”

“The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward.”

“Preparation, I have often said, is rightly two-thirds of any venture.”

“The woman who can create her own job is the woman who will win fame and fortune.”

“It is far easier to start something than it is to finish it.”

“Courage is the price that Life exacts for granting peace, The soul that knows it not, knows no release from little things.”

“Never interrupt someone doing something you said couldn’t be done.”

“No kind action ever stops with itself. One kind action leads to another. Good example is followed. A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees. The greatest work that kindness does to others is that it makes them kind themselves.”

“Adventure is worthwhile in itself.”

“Never do things others can do and will do, if there are things others cannot do or will not do.”

“The more one does and sees and feels, the more one is able to do, and the more genuine may be one’s appreciation of fundamental things like home, and love, and understanding companionship.”

Sarcastic Quotes

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* You are not as bad as people say, you are much, much worse.
* Now we know why some animals eat their own children.
* Please, keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested.
* Talk is cheap, but that’s ok, so are you.
* If we killed everybody who hates you, it wouldn’t be murderer it would be an apocalypse!
* This is an excellent time for you to become a missing person.
* I’m busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
* When I look into your eyes, I see straight through to the back of your head.
* A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind.
* Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn’t have given you any worse advice.
* Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today.
* Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to lie to myself and try to like you?
* Don’t let your mind wander, it’s far too small to be let out on its own.
* Don’t thank me for insulting you, it was a pleasure.
* Don’t you realize that there are enough people to hate in the world already without you putting in so much effort to give us another?
* He always finds himself lost in thought; it’s unfamiliar territory.
* I bet you get bullied a lot.
* I can tell that you are lying, your lips are moving.
* I don’t know what makes you so dumb but it really works.
* I don’t mind you talking so much, as long as you don’t mind me not listening.
* I don’t think you are a fool, but what’s my opinion compared to that of thousands of others.
* I know you are nobody’s fool, but maybe someone will adopt you one day.
* I like you. People say I’ve got no taste, but I like you.
* I used to think that you were a colossal pain in the neck. Now I have a much lower opinion of you.
* I will defend, to your death, my right to my opinion.
* I would have liked to insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldn’t understand me.
* I’d like to see things from your point of view, but I can’t seem to get my head that far up your ass.
* If you were twice as smart as you are now, you’d be absolutely stupid.
* I’m glad to see you’re not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance.
* I’m impressed, I’ve never met such a small mind inside such a big head before.
* I’ve come across rotting bodies that are less offensive than you are.
* Pardon me, but you’re obviously mistaking me for someone who gives a damn.
* People would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.
* She’s the first in her family born without tail.
* That man is cruelly depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
* There are several people in this world that I find unbearably obnoxious, and you are all of them.
* What he is lacking in intelligence, he more than makes up for in stupidity.
* Whatever it is that is eating you, it must be suffering horribly.
* What’s wrong, don’t you get any attention back home?
* You are not even beneath my contempt.
* You are not obnoxious like so many other people, you are obnoxious in a completely different and far worse way.
* You grow on people, but so does cancer.
* You have an inferiority complex and it is fully justified.
* You should do some soul-searching. You might just find one.
* You would never be able to live down to your reputation, but I see you’re doing your best.
* Your mind isn’t so much twisted as badly sprained.
* You’re a habit I’d like to kick – with both feet.

Homework Quotes

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A lot of actors talk about doing their homework, but very few of them do it. – Tony Scott

Because I think a lot of people felt like, ultimately – and this isn’t the first time I’ve said this, so I’ll bore you again with it – but ultimately it was… I think it felt like homework a bit for people. – Will Arnett

Being a writer is like having homework every night for the rest of your life. – Lawrence Kasdan

But you know, there’s something about the kids finishing their homework in a given day, working one-on-one, getting all this attention – they go home, they’re finished. They don’t stall, they don’t do their homework in front of the TV. – Dave Eggers

For me, being a writer was never a choice. I was born one. All through my childhood I wrote short stories and stuffed them in drawers. I wrote on everything. I didn’t do my homework so I could write. – Laura Hillenbrand

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog. – Doug Larson

I did my homework and didn’t go out much, and had a very highly developed kitsch fantasy life where I dreamed of being a dancing girl. – Emily Mortimer

I don’t believe in sampling some Tibetan music just to make it sound groovy, but you do your homework, you understand what you’re doing with it. – Jessica Hagedorn

I get her to school, we do homework at night, and at this age, their social calendars are really quite hectic. She’s not driving yet, so I end up chauffeuring her around. – Charlene Tilton

I grew up in a house where nobody had to tell me to go to school every day and do my homework. – Constance Baker Motley

I guess I didn’t enjoy drawing very much. It was like homework. – Robert Crumb

I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework. – Lily Tomlin

I loved school, I loved putting on my uniform and doing homework every day. I was one of those good students that the teachers liked. I guess that’s got to be a pretty nerdy, geeky part of me. – Yvonne Strahovski

I think if you get asked to do this, then that’s called doing your homework, and I try and do it. – Mark Harmon

I was a total education geek. I loved school. I loved learning. I loved doing homework. All of my books and notebooks from high school are underlined and highlighted and there are notes all over the margins. And you know, I was a theater kid too. I was all over the place. – Sophia Bush

I went to work and did a lot of homework about what was wrong with me. – Margot Kidder

I will not go into a story unprepared. I will do my homework, and that’s something I learned at an early age. – Ed Bradley

I’m a mom, a full-time mom when I’m not taping. I do the carpool thing, and bake the cookies, and do the homework. – Vanna White

Looking back, I think we were all quite mature, surprisingly responsible. In earlier wars, boys of our age had just gone off to raise hell or enlist or both, but we stayed dutifully at our desks doing tomorrow’s homework. – John Knowles

Famous Quotes and Sayings

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There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. – Albert Einstein

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. – Helen Keller

He who knows others is wise. He who knows himself is enlightened. – Lao Tzu

Happiness depends upon ourselves. – Aristotle

Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth. – John F. Kennedy

People only see what they are prepared to see. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Nothing can bring you peace but yourself. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans. – John Lennon

Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. – Judy Garland

We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing. – George Bernard Shaw

It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so. – Mark Twain

All things share the same breath – the beast, the tree, the man… the air shares its spirit with all the life it supports. – Chief Seattle

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. – Mother Teresa

Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase. – Martin Luther King, Jr.

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion. – Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

It’s the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter. – Marlene Dietrich

Life is without meaning. You bring the meaning to it. The meaning of life is whatever you ascribe it to be. Being alive is the meaning. – Joseph Campbell

What we think, we become. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world. – The Buddha

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t. – Erica Jong

The best things in life are free. – Anonymous

Attitude is everything. – Anonymous

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.- Anonymous

Life is what you make of it. – Anonymous

Where there is a will, there is a way. – Anonymous

Every cloud has a silver lining. – Anonymous

Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation. – Dale Carnegie

Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future. – Oscar Wilde

16 Years Old Kids Quotes. Now and Then.

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Now:
“I’m a really claustrophobic person to begin with. I hate elevators, especially crammed elevators. I get really scared. So I think that it’s very definitely scary when girls are all around me and I can’t go anywhere. At the same time, I guess I got to get used to it, you know what I mean?” – Justin Bieber

“I definitely want to buy my mom a house once I get enough funds. I think that’s definitely something that I want to do. I think that any person, it’s their dream to buy their mother a house.” – Justin Bieber

“I have a house in Stratford and I got a house in Atlanta but I don’t really live anywhere–I live on the road. I’m kind of like living in a suitcase, travelling so much.” – Justin Bieber

“I miss my family, I miss my friends. I mean the city itself, which is very pretty and familiar because it’s really all I ever knew. But it’s more my friends and family. I could go without the city. It doesn’t really matter where I am as long as I have family and friends close to me. It’s really all that matters.” – Justin Bieber

“My mom said I wasn’t allowed to date until I was sixteen, but I broke that rule. She found out and said, ‘I’m disappointed in you.'” – Justin Bieber

“I have dumped a girl over the phone – it’s terrible isn’t it? We got into an argument during a phone call so I basically said, I don’t wanna be with you any more,’ and she cried. I saw her after that and it was a bit awkward, but we’re not enemies now, so that’s cool. But I wouldn’t recommend it, it’s very mean!” – Justin Bieber

“It would be a shame to go out with a hot girl you can’t have a decent conversation with!” – Justin Bieber

“I also try to read all of my fan mail. A lot of them send me candy, which I’m not allowed to eat ’cause my mom says it might be poisonous.” – Justin Bieber

“I’m just a regular 16 year old kid. I make good grilled cheese and I like girls.” – Justin Bieber

“I still [use Twitter] as much as before. People write to me and say, ‘I’m giving up, you’re not talking to me.’ I just write them a simple message like, ‘Never give up,’ you know? And it changes their life.” – Justin Bieber

“There’s more people that like me than there are who hate me, so I kind of brush it off.” – Justin Bieber

Then (long time ago):
“The older you get, the harder your parents try to keep you little.” – Emily

“When you buy a car for the first time, your number of friends increases dramatically” – Jeffrey

“You never put a boyfriend before family. Family will always be there – boyfriends come and go.” – Jessica

“Not all learning can be measured by grades.” – Beth

“If I study and watch TV at the same time, I end up studying the TV. ” – Charlie

“It does not matter how much money a family has. If there is a lot of love in a home, that family is richer than any millionaire could ever be.” – Whitney

“I should always try my best. If I don’t succeed, then at least I will feel good about myelf.” – Laura

“People are quick to condemn you for the things you’ve done, but they’ll never give you credit for all the times you resisted temptation.” – Heather

“One of the greatest gifts my parents gave me was their love for each other.” – Jamie

“Simply saying, “I believe in you” can make someone’s day.” – Mary

“When you pray, you get a happy feeling inside like God just walked into your heart and is wrming himself at a cozy fire.” – Charles

“The best place to go with a child is in their imagination.” – Amie

“In a difficult situation, my parents need me to be strong, because that makes them strong.” – Kathryn

I have picked Justin Bieber for the boy dealing with the “Now” category, because it is in vogue right now, and the other guys from „Then” category were in vogue long time ago.

Please make a comparison and tell me (using the comment form) what you think about “Now” and “Then”.

Funny Quotes to make you laugh

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Men are like steel; both are worthless when they loose their temper. — Source Unknown

What if “the hokey pokey” is REALLY what it’s all about? — Curtis Spencer

We are the people our parents warned us about. — Jimmy Buffett

Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them…well, I have others. — Groucho Marx

The nice part of living in a small town is that when I don’t know what I’m doing, someone else does. — Source Unknown

USA Today has come out with a new survey-apparently, three out of every four people make up 75 percent of the population. — Dave Letterman

You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R’s only one begins with an R. — Dennis Miller

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. — Albert Einstein

Hain’t we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain’t that a big enough majority in any town? — Mark Twain

A good metaphor is something even the police should keep an eye on. — G. C. Lichtenberg

I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces. — Mark Twain

Although it is generally known, I think it’s about time to announce that I was born at a very early age. — Groucho Marx

I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind! The answer is twelve? I think I’m in the wrong building. — Charles Shulz

Convent. A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness. — Ambrose Bierce

I adore political parties. They are the only place left to us where people don’t talk politics. — Oscar Wilde

Plagiarists at least have the quality of preservation. — Benjamin Disraeli

I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers. — Mahatma Gandhi

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy — the mother. — Claudette Colbert

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments. — Flip Wilson

I know all those people. I have friendly, social, and criminal relations with the whole lot of them. — Mark Twain

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. What do you mean? responded her mother. Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came back with another. — Source Unknown

If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you. — Groucho Marx

The trouble with the world is not that people know too little, but that they know so many things that ain’t so. — Mark Twain

He has not a single redeeming defect. — Benjamin Disraeli

When you get to my age life seems little more than one long march to and from the lavatory. — John Mortimer

Last night the creative juices were flowing but today I am merely a vast wasteland of random thoughts. — Peckeroy

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it. — Groucho Marx

In Mexico an air conditioner is called a politician because it makes a lot of noise but doesn’t work very well. — Len Deighton

My sole inspiration is a telephone call from a director. — Cole Porter

He believes that marriage and a career don’t mix. So after the wedding he plans to quit his job. — Source Unknown