Tag: money

15 Laughter, Joy and Happiness Quotes

Posted on June 24, 2011 by

1. [Humanity] has unquestionably one really effective weapon—laughter. Power, money, persuasion, supplication, persecution—these can lift at a colossal humbug—push it a little—weaken it a little, century by century; but only laughter can blow it to rags and atoms at a blast. Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand. — Mark Twain
2. A good laugh heals a lot of hurts. — Madeleine L’Engle
3. A good laugh is a mighty good thing, a rather too scarce a good thing. — Herman Melville
4. A good laugh is sunshine in the house. — William Thackeray
5. With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die. — Abraham Lincoln
6. And we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh. – Friedrich Nietzsche
7. A merry heart doeth good like a medicine. — Proverbs 17:22
8. A smile is a curve that sets everything straight. — Phyllis Diller
9. A smile starts on the lips, A grin spreads to the eyes, A chuckle comes from the belly; But a good laugh bursts forth from the soul, Overflows, and bubbles all around. – Carolyn Birmingham
10. A well-balanced person is one who finds both sides of an issue laughable. — Herbert Procknow
11. Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand. — Mark Twain
12. Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. — Lord Byron
13. Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh. — W. H. Auden
14. An optimist laughs to forget; a pessimist forgets to laugh. — Tom Nansbury
15. And keep a sense of humor. It doesn’t mean you have to tell jokes. If you can’t think of anything else, when you’re my age, take off your clothes and walk in front of a mirror. I guarantee you’ll get a laugh. — Art Linkletter

Funny and Humorous Quotes

Posted on June 20, 2011 by

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. – Robert Bloch

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. – Unknown

Everyone has photographic memory; some just don’t have the film. – Unknown

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else. – Unknown

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die. – Unknown

Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans – John Lennon

Borrow money from a pessimist – they don’t expect it back. – Unknown

You can be young without money but you can’t be old without it. – Unknown

Summer is the season when the air pollution is much warmer – Unknown

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. – Maryon Pearson

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? – Unknown

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. – Unknown

What do you mean, my birth certificate expired? – Unknown

When I eventually met Mr Right I had no idea that his first name was Always. – Rita Rudner

Cheating Boyfriend Quotes

Posted on June 7, 2011 by

“Don’t cry over someone that won’t cry over you.”

“No guy is worth your tears & when you find the one that is he won’t make you cry.”

“If you really love something set it free..if it comes back it’s yours, if not it wasn’t meant to be.”

“Some day you’ll cry for me like I cried for you, Some day you’ll miss me like I missed you, Some day you’ll need me like I needed you, Some day you’ll love me but I won’t love you.”

“Time will make you forget me but time will make me love you more than before.”

“Forget who hurt you yesterday, but don’t forget who loves you tenderly today.”

“The hardest part of loving someone is knowing when to let go, and knowing when to say goodbye.”

“I hate you for not letting me have you.”

“Forget the times he walked by, Forget the times he made you cry, Forget the times he spoke your name, remember now your not the same, Forget the times he held your hand, Forget the sweet things if you can, Forget the times & don’t pretend, remember now he’s just your friend.”

“The day you finally decide to love me will be the day after I have given up on chasing you.”

“I hate to see the one I love happy with somebody but I surely hate it more to see the one I love unhappy with me…”

“If in this lifetime, I wont get to have you, I’ll make sure that if I meet you in my next life, I wont have to think twice on saying that, I waited a lifetime to say I love you…”

“Moving on is simple, it’s what you leave behind that makes it so difficult.”

“If someone you love hurts you cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it.”

“Never be sad for what is over, just be glad that it was once yours.”

“Should I hate you because you hurt me? Or should I love you because you made me feel special?”

“Deep down you know it’s best for yourself, but you hate the thought of him being with someone else.”

“Now I believe it when people say love is blind…’cause I must have been blind to love a person like you.”

“Money can’t mend a broken heart; that’s love’s job.”

“One cannot truly experience the beauty of love without enduring the pain that comes with it once it is lost.”

“The heart does heal and you will love like this again…only when you do, you will deny you ever felt like this before.”

“Why am I afraid to lose you when you’re not even mine…”

“I was born the day you kissed me, died the day you left me, but lived for the time that you loved me.”

“I will always love him, I just won’t love the way he treated me.”

“Anything worth having is a thing worth cheating for.” ~ W. C. Fields

“All good is hard. All evil is easy. Dying, losing, cheating, and mediocrity is easy. Stay away from easy.” ~ Scott Alexander

Best Friendship Sayings ever

Posted on June 2, 2011 by

“A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter; he who finds one finds a treasure.”

“Having someone who understands is a great blessing for ourselves. Being someone who understands is a great blessing to others.”

“A friend is one who strengthens you with prayers, blesses you with love and encourages you with hope.”

“A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.”

“A friend is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself.”

“A hug is worth a thousand words. A friend is worth more.”

“Best friends are like diamonds, precious and rare false friends are like leaves, found everywhere.”

“A good friend is hard to find, hard to lose, and impossible to forget…”

“Money might make you wealthy, but true friends makes you rich.”

“A friend is like a rainbow. They brighten your life when you’ve been through a storm.”

“Friendship isn’t a big thing – it’s a million little things.”

“If you’re alone, I’ll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I’ll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I’ll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I’ll be your smile. But anytime you need a friend, I’ll just be me.”

“The best kind of friend is the one you could sit on a porch with, never saying a word, and walk away feeling like that was the best conversation you’ve had.”

“A friend accepts us as we are yet helps us to be what we should.”

“There comes a point in your life when you realize who really matters, who never did, and who always will.”

“A friend is someone who can see the truth and pain in you even when you are fooling everyone else.”

“You can’t stay in your corner of the forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.”

“A friend is someone who sees through you and still enjoys the view.”

“Together forever, never apart. Maybe in distance, but never in heart.”

“True friendship isn’t seen with the eyes, it’s felt with the heart.”

Wisdom Quotes

Posted on May 20, 2011 by

The future is like a baboons ass, colorful and full of shit. – Arne Anka

It is annoying to be honest to no purpose. – Unknown

It is better to have men ask why you have no statue, than why you have one. – Unknown

Money will not buy happiness, but it will let you be unhappy in nice places. – Unknown

For a human there are but three great events: to be born, to live and to die. She doesn’t know she is born, he suffers of dying and she forgets to live. – Jean de la Bryère

Tell me what you’re laughing at and I shall tell you who you are. – Goethe

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it – and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again — and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore. – Mark Twain

You can cheat an honest man but not make a fool out of him. – Confucius

Ageing isn’t that bad if you consider the alternatives. – Maurice Chevalier

A home without books is a body without soul. – Marcus Tullius Cicero

People are funny

Posted on April 1, 2011 by

Motivational Career Change Quotes

Posted on March 25, 2011 by

Never work just for money or for power. They won’t save your soul or help you sleep at night. – Marian Wright Edelman

The best work never was and never will be done for money. – John Ruskin

My father always told me, ‘Find a job you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life. – Jim Fox

For many people a job is more than an income – it’s an important part of who we are. So a career transition of any sort is one of the most unsettling experiences you can face in your life. – Paul Clitheroe

If you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work. – Kahlil Gibran

If you do not feel yourself growing in your work and your life broadening and deepening, if your task is not a perpetual tonic to you, you have not found your place. – Orison Swett Marden

A sobering thought: What if, at this very moment, I am living up to my full potential? – Jane Wagner

Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else. – James Matthew Barrie

Desire is the starting point of all achievement, not a hope, not a wish, but a keen pulsating desire which transcends everything. – Napoleon Hill

It’s so hard when I have to, and so easy when I want to. – Annie Gottlier

Choose your love, love your choice. – Thomas S. Monson

What is it that you like doing? If you don’t like it, get out of it, because you’ll be lousy at it. – Lee Iacocca

In doing something, do it with love or never do it at all – Mahatma Ghandi

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate. – George Burns

I’d rather attempt to do something great and fail than to attempt to do nothing and succeed. – Robert H. Schuller

Harry Houdini Quotes

Posted on March 24, 2011 by

Let’s celebrate the birthday of the greatest magician in the world in our own way, with quotes. Today, let me share with you some great Harry Houdini Quotes.

Another method of eating burning coals employs small balls of burned cotton in a dish of burning alcohol.

But it must not be thought that I say this out of personal experience: for in the many years that I have been before the public my secret methods have been steadily shielded by the strict integrity of my assistants, most of whom have been with me for years.

But then, so far as I know, I am the only performer who ever pledged his assistants to secrecy, honor and allegiance under a notarial oath.

Eating coals of fire has always been one of the sensational feats of the Fire Kings, as it is quite generally known that charcoal burns with an extremely intense heat.

Fire has always been and, seemingly, will always remain, the most terrible of the elements.

Flames from the lips may be produced by holding in the mouth a sponge saturated with the purest gasoline.

How the early priests came into possession of these secrets does not appear, and if there were ever any records of this kind the Church would hardly allow them to become public.

I make the most money, I think, in Russia and Paris, for the people of those countries are so willing to be amused, so eager to see something new and out of the ordinary.

I think that in a year I may retire. I cannot take my money with me when I die and I wish to enjoy it, with my family, while I live. I should prefer living in Germany to any other country, though I am an American, and am loyal to my country.

In all feats of fire-eating it should be noted that the head is thrown well back, so that the flame may pass out of the open mouth instead of up into the roof, as it would if the head were held naturally.

It is still an open question, however, as to what extent exposure really injures a performer.

My professional life has been a constant record of disillusion, and many things that seem wonderful to most men are the every-day commonplaces of my business.

No performer should attempt to bite off red-hot iron unless he has a good set of teeth.

Only one man ever betrayed my confidence, and that only in a minor matter.

The eating of burning brimstone is an entirely fake performance.

The great day of the Fire-eater – or, should I say, the day of the great Fire-eater – has passed.

To cause the face to appear in a mass of flame make use of the following: mix together thoroughly petroleum, lard, mutton tallow and quick lime. Distill this over a charcoal fire, and the liquid which results can be burned on the face without harm.

Motivational Work Quotes

Posted on March 16, 2011March 16, 2011 by

No bees, no honey; no work, no money. – Proverbs

Work is life, you know, and without it, there’s nothing but fear and insecurity. – John Lennon

Work for something because it is good, not just because it stands a chance to succeed. – Vaclav Havel

The very first step towards success in any occupation is to become interested in it. – Sir William Osier

Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work. – Aristotle

Profit is a by-product of work; happiness is its chief product. – Henry Ford

The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work. – Richard Bach

When people go to work, they shouldn’t have to leave their hearts at home. – Betty Bender

Work is either fun or drudgery. It depends on your attitude. I like fun. – Colleen C. Barrett

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. – John Bay

Workaholics commit slow suicide by refusing to allow the child inside them to play. – Dr. Laurence Susser

Sometimes only a change of viewpoint is needed to convert a tiresome duty into an interesting opportunity. – Alberta Flanders

Work joyfully and peacefully, knowing that right thoughts and right efforts will inevitably bring about right results. – James Lane Allen

If you do a good job for others, you heal yourself at the same time, because a dose of joy is a spiritual cure. – Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Dilbert Quotes

Posted on February 26, 2011 by

1. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.
2. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.
3. Tell me what you need, and I’ll tell you how to get along without it.
4. Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.
5. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn’t there the first time, chances are you won’t be needing him again.
6. I DON’T HAVE AN ATTITUDE PROBLEM, YOU HAVE A PERCEPTION PROBLEM.
7. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, and I thought to myself, “where the heck is the ceiling?”
8. My reality cheque bounced.
9. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
10. I don’t suffer from stress. I am a carrier.
11. You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
12. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
13. Everybody is somebody else’s weirdo.
14. Never argue with idiots. They drag you down to their level, and then beat you with experience.
15. A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the butt.
16. Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
17. After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
18. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
19. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
20. Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
21. If it wasn’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.
22. When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
23. Following the rules will not get the job done.
24. When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, “How would the Lone Ranger handle this?”
25. Only the mediocre are at their best all the time.
26. There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
27. Bring ideas in and entertain them royally, for one of them may be the king.
28. If at first you don’t succeed……skydiving isn’t for you.
29. Life is a waste of time; time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.
30. When everything is coming your way……you’re in the wrong lane.