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Cute Quotes for Girls about Boys

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If I have a monument in this world, it is my son. – Maya Angelou

The sweetest roamer is a boy’s young heart. – George Edward Woodberry

Boys do not grow up gradually. They move forward in spurts like the hands of clocks in railway stations. – Cyril Connolly

Of all the animals, the boy is most unmanageable. – Plato

A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes. – Robert Frost

When I grow up I want to be a little boy. – Joseph Heller

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. – George Burns

April Fool’s Day Quotes

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April Fool’s Day is here. Let’s celebrate it with some useful April Fool’s Day Quotes.

April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four. ~Mark Twain, Pudd’nhead Wilson, 1894

April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly. ~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary

Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. ~Chinese Proverb

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee,
And I’ll forgive Thy great big one on me. ~Robert Frost, “Cluster of Faith,” 1962

He who is born a fool is never cured. ~Proverb

Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed. ~Mark Twain

If every fool wore a crown, we should all be kings. ~Welsh Proverb

I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it. ~Jack Handey

We’re fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb

You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time. ~Abraham Lincoln

Even the gods love jokes. ~Plato

The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected. ~Will Rogers

A man always blames the woman who fools him. In the same way he blames the door he walks into in the dark. ~Henry Louis Mencken

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. ~Douglas Adams

It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor. ~Max Eastman

Don’t give cherries to pigs or advice to fools. ~Irish Proverb

A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke-and that the joke is oneself. ~Clifton Paul Fadiman

It is better to weep with wise men than to laugh with fools. ~Spanish Proverb

I have great faith in fools – self-confidence, my friends call it. ~Edgar Allan Poe

The aim of a joke is not to degrade the human being, but to remind him that he is already degraded. ~George Orwell

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke? ~Rita Rudner

Suppose the world were only one of God’s jokes, would you work any the less to make it a good joke instead of a bad one? ~George Bernard Shaw

Real friends are those who, when you feel you’ve made a fool of yourself, don’t feel you’ve done a permanent job. ~Author Unknown

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. “Oh, no,” I said. “Disneyland burned down.” He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late. ~Jack Handey

Men and Women Quotes

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“A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.” – Robert Frost

“Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.” – Albert Einstein

“Men are what their mothers made them.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Male and female represent the two sides of the great radical dualism. But in fact they are perpetually passing into one another. Fluid hardens to solid, solid rushes to fluid. There is no wholly masculine man, no purely feminine woman.” – Margaret Fuller

“If women are expected to do the same work as men, we must teach them the same things.” – Plato

“For most of history, ‘Anonymous’ was a woman.” – Virginia Woolf

“Women are made to be loved, not understood.” – Oscar Wilde

“There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.” – Will Rogers

“Women don’t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think – in a deeper voice.” – Bill Cosby

“Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.” – Timothy Leary

Famous People Quotes #8

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“Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.” – Martin Fraquhar Tupper

“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book – I’ll waste no time reading it.” – Moses Hadas (1900-1966)

“From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.” – Groucho Marx (1895-1977)

“It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.” – Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

“When ideas fail, words come in very handy.” – Goethe (1749-1832)

“In the end, everything is a gag.” – Charlie Chaplin (1889-1977)

“The nice thing about egotists is that they don’t talk about other people.” – Lucille S. Harper

“You got to be careful if you don’t know where you’re going, because you might not get there.” – Yogi Berra

“I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.” – Walt Disney (1901-1966)

“He who hesitates is a damned fool.” – Mae West (1892-1980)

“Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.” – Gail Godwin

“University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.” – Henry Kissinger (1923-)

“The graveyards are full of indispensable men.” – Charles de Gaulle (1890-1970)

“You can pretend to be serious; you can’t pretend to be witty.” – Sacha Guitry (1885-1957)

“Behind every great fortune there is a crime.” – Honore de Balzac (1799-1850)

“If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.” – Aristotle Onassis (1906-1975)

“I am not young enough to know everything.” – Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

“Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.” – Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

“The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.” – General George Patton (1885-1945)

“Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

“There is no sincerer love than the love of food.” – George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)

“I don’t even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.” – Katherine Cebrian

“I have an existential map; it has ‘you are here’ written all over it.” – Steven Wright

“Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.” – Gioacchino Rossini (1792-1868)

“Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.” – Oliver Herford (1863-1935)

“I have read your book and much like it.” – Moses Hadas (1900-1966)

“The covers of this book are too far apart.” – Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914)

“Everywhere I go I’m asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don’t stifle enough of them.” – Flannery O’Connor (1925-1964)

“Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.” – Igor Stravinsky (1882-1971)

“Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.” – Voltaire (1694-1778)

“When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I’ve never tried before.” – Mae West (1892-1980)

“I don’t know anything about music. In my line you don’t have to.” – Elvis Presley (1935-1977)

“No Sane man will dance.” – Cicero (106-43 B.C.)

“Hell is a half-filled auditorium.” – Robert Frost (1874-1963)

“Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.” – Carl Gustav Jung (1875-1961)

“Vote early and vote often.” – Al Capone (1899-1947)

“If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?” – Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

“Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.” – Mark Twain (1835-1910)

“Hell is other people.” – Jean-Paul Sartre (1905-1980)

“Now I am become death, the destroyer of worlds.” – Robert J. Oppenheimer (1904-1967) (citing from the Bhagavad Gita, after witnessing the world’s first nuclear explosion)

“Happiness is good health and a bad memory.” – Ingrid Bergman (1917-1982)

“Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.” – Thomas Jones

“You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.” – Al Capone (1899-1947)

“The gods too are fond of a joke.” – Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)

“Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.” – Henry David Thoreau (1817-1862)

“The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.” – Gloria Leonard

Amazing Life Quotes

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Sorry guys, I intended to post all amazing quotes yesterday, but sometimes I think I need more than 24 hours a day. I am the only one who thinks that? Let’s continue (if you want) with a great list of amazing life quotes. Please, enjoy!

“Borrow money from pessimists – they don’t expect it back.” – Steven Wright

“If you concentrate on finding whatever is good in every situation, you will discover that your life will suddenly be filled with gratitude, a feeling that nurtures the soul.” – Rabbi Harold Kushner

“When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others.” – Peace Pilgrim

“The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance; it is the illusion of knowledge.” – Daniel J. Boorstin

“The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.” – William Arthur Ward

“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.” – Albert Einstein

“Live life fully while you’re here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You’re going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don’t try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human.” – Anthony Robbins

“The only man who never makes a mistake is the man who never does anything.” – Theodore Roosevelt

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” – Thomas Edison

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” – Maria Robinson

“If you do not have a target to aim for, you are going to miss it anyway.” – Clifford Aga

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” – Dr. Seuss

“One day at a time–this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering.” – Author Unknown

“Life is a cement trampoline.” – Howard Nordberg

“If someone cheats you once, it might be their mistake. If that person cheats you again, then it’s YOUR mistake.” – Clifford Aga

“Life is like a coin. You can spend it any way you wish, but you only spend it once.” – Lillian Dickson

“”Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.” – Isaac Asimov

“My life has a superb cast but I can’t figure out the plot.” – Ashleigh Brilliant

“I think I’ve discovered the secret of life – you just hang around until you get used to it.” – Charles Schulz

“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.” – Robert Frost

“Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death.” – Albert Einstein

“Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today.” – James Dean

“Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can.” – Danny Kaye

Famous Attitude Quotes

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A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world; everyone you meet is your mirror. ~ Ken Keyes Jr

Being a sex symbol has to do with an attitude, not looks. Most men think it’s looks, most women know otherwise. ~ Kathleen Turner

A person will sometimes devote all his life to the development of one part of his body – the wishbone. ~ Robert Frost

The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes. ~ William James

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. ~ Herm Albright, Reader’s Digest, June 1995

Affectation is a greater enemy to the face than smallpox. ~ English Proverb

An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered. ~ G.K. Chesterton, On Running After One’s Hat, All Things Considered, 1908

The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it. ~ C.C. Scott

Anywhere is paradise; it’s up to you. ~ Author Unknown

Anywhere you go liking everyone, everyone will be likeable. ~ Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, 1966

Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. ~ Winston Churchill

Good fortune shies away from gloom. Keep your spirits up. Good things will come to you and you will come to good things. ~ Glorie Abelhas

Got no checkbooks, got no banks,
Still I’d like to express my thanks –
I got the sun in the morning and the moon at night. ~ Irving Berlin, I Got the Sun in the Morning, 1946.

Attitudes are contagious. Are yours worth catching? ~ Dennis and Wendy Mannering

Be enthusiastic. Remember the placebo effect – 30% of medicine is showbiz. ~ Ronald Spark

A cloudy day is no match for a sunny disposition. ~ William Arthur Ward

A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes. ~ Hugh Downs

Become a possibilitarian. No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see possibilities – always see them, for they’re always there. ~ Norman Vincent Peale

If you aren’t fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm. ~ Vince Lombardi

Consider how much more you often suffer from your anger and grief, than from those very things for which you are angry and grieved. ~ Marcus Antonius

Best Motivational Quotes

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By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day. – Robert Frost

Life is like a ten-speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use. – Charles Schulz

Opportunity is always knocking. The problem is that most people have the self-doubt station in their head turned up way too loud to hear it. – Brian Vaszily

Some people develop a wishbone where their back bone should be. – Anonymous

Life begins at 40 – but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times. – Helen Rowland

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh – at yourself. – Ethel Barrymore

Opportunity dances with those who are already on the dance floor. – Jackson Brown

I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early. – Yogi Berra

I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying. – Oscar Wilde

I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock. – Henny Youngman

Burn your computer. Blow up your TV. Bludgeon your cell phone. Breathe deeply. This, my friends, is the secret to inner-peace. – Brian Vaszily

People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily. – Zig Ziglar

God is dead – Nietzsche Nietzsche is dead. – God

Five out of four people have trouble with fractions. – Unknown

A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory. – Unknown

Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce. – Unknown

I’ve developed a new philosophy… I only dread one day at a time. – Charles Schulz

None of us is as dumb as all of us. – Unknown

Many of us spend half our time wishing for things we could have if we didn’t spend half our time wishing. – Alexander Woollcott

If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into committees. That’ll do them in. – Unknown

I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages. – William Mauldin

If I had a dollar for every time someone came to me with not only a problem but also a possible solution to that problem, I’d have six dollars. – Brian Vaszily

Always remember that you are unique. Just like everybody else. – Unknown

Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. – Dale Carnegie

To do is to be. – Descartes

To be is to do. – Voltaire

Do be do be do. – Frank Sinatra

Motivational Quotes

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– “Always do what you are afraid to do.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

– “Take calculated risks. That is quite different from being rash.” – George S. Patton

– “If you do not hope, you will not find what is beyond your hopes.” – St. Clement of Alexandra

– “We are all inventors, each sailing out on a voyage of discovery, guided each by a private chart, of which there is no duplicate. The world is all gates, all opportunities.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

– “Seek the lofty by reading, hearing and seeing great work at some moment every day.” – Thornton Wilder

– “The only way of finding the limits of the possible is by going beyond them into the impossible.” – Arthur C. Clarke

– “Without inspiration the best powers of the mind remain dormant, they is a fuel in us which needs to be ignited with sparks.” – Johann Gottfried Von Herder

– “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.” – Aristotle

– “Work spares us from three evils: boredom, vice, and need.” – Voltaire

– “Experience is the child of thought, and thought is the child of action.” – Benjamin Disraeli

– “You cannot plough a field by turning it over in your mind.” – Unknown

– “The best way out is always through.” – Robert Frost

– “Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking.” – William B. Sprague

– “Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must first be overcome.” – Samuel Johnson

– “Fortune favors the brave.” – Publius Terence

– “Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.” – Confucius

– “Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.” – Albert Einstein

– “Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

– “We are still masters of our fate. We are still captains of our souls.” – Winston Churchill

– “Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

– “For hope is but the dream of those that wake.” – Matthew Prior

– “Constant dripping hollows out a stone.” – Lucretius

– “Nothing contributes so much to tranquilize the mind as a steady purpose – a point on which the soul may fix its intellectual eye.” – Mary Shelley

Life Quotes

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«Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.» — Albert Einstein

«There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.» — Albert Schweitzer

«Expect nothing, live frugally on surprise.» — Alice Walker

«A useless life is an early death.» — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

«Life is short, but there is always time enough for courtesy.» — Ralph Waldo Emerson

«A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.» — Robert Frost

«The dead might as well try to speak to the living as the old to the young.» — Willa Cather

«When it comes to getting things done, we need fewer architects and more bricklayers.» — Colleen C. Barrett

«The world is filled with willing people; some willing to work, the rest willing to let them.» — Robert Frost

«Nothing could be worse than the fear that one had given up too soon, and left one unexpended effort that might have saved the world.» — Jane Addams

«The decay of Logic results from an] untroubled assumption that the particular is real and the universal is not.» — C.S. Lewis

«Believe there is a great power silently working all things for good, behave yourself and never mind the rest.» — Beatrix Potter

«And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.» — Martin Luther King Jr.

«An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity.» — Martin Luther King Jr.

«Without leaps of imagination or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all is a form of planning.» — Gloria Steinem

«Onward and Upward! To Narnia and the North!» — C.S. Lewis

«What affects one in a major way, affects all in a minor way.» — Martin Luther King Jr.

«To live is Christ, to die is gain Php 1:21» — Various

«Respect for self is the beginning of cultivating virtue in men and women.» — Gordon B. Hinckley

«Tomorrow is fresh, with no mistakes in it.» — L.M. Montgomery

«…it (feminism) is mixed up with a muddled idea that women are free when they serve their employers but slaves when they help their husbands.» — G.K. Chesterton

«All you need is trust and a little bit of pixie dust!» — J.M. Barrie

«Anything that makes weak – physically, intellectually and spiritually, reject it as poison.» — Swami Vivekananda

«Failure? I never encountered it. All I ever met were temporary setbacks.» — Dottie Walters

«A hero cannot be a hero unless in a heroic world.» — Nathaniel Hawthorne

«Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.» — Ralph Waldo Emerson

«There are few sources of energy so powerful as a procrastinating college student.» — Paul Graham

«One should become the master of one’s mind rather than let one’s mind master him.» — Nichiren Daishonin

«There must be those among whom we can sit down and weep and still be counted as warriors.» — Adrienne Rich

«Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.» — Oscar Wilde

«Prayers said by good people are always good prayers» — Willa Cather

«Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.» — Les Brown

«I have no time to justify you, fool, youre blind, step aside from me» — Dave Matthews Band

«Two roads diverged in a wood, and I…I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.» — Robert Frost

Clever Quotes

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Funny Clever Quotes

Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read. – Groucho Marx

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. – Mark Twain

I intend to live forever, or die trying. – Groucho Marx

Familiarity breeds contempt – and children. – Mark Twain

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die. – Mel Brooks

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it. – Groucho Marx

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath. – W. C. Fields

Golf is a good walk spoiled. – Mark Twain

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I’ll never know. – Groucho Marx

It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog. – Mark Twain

I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying. – Oscar Wilde

It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to. – W. C. Fields

Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said. – Mel Brooks

Too clever is dumb.- Ogden Nash

Clever Quotes on Life

Life is too important to be taken seriously. – Oscar Wilde

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do. – Benjamin Franklin

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes? – Groucho Marx

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead. – Benjamin Franklin

Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted. – John Lennon

Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. – Anonymous

Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment.
Cleverness is mere opinion, bewilderment is intuition. – Jalal al-Din Rumi

Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again. – Robert A. Heinlein

A clever man commits no minor blunders. – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made. – Groucho Marx

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin. – H. L. Mencken

Clever Quotes about Life

The road to success is always under construction. – Lily Tomlin

Life is a constant oscillation between the sharp horns of dilemmas. – H. L. Mencken

Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile. – Albert Schweitzer

Old age is fifteen years older than I am. – Oliver Wendell Holmes

A man likes his wife to be just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness, and just stupid enough to admire it. – Israel Zangwill

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. – Isaac Asimov

Half the world is composed of idiots, the other half of people clever enough to take indecent advantage of them. – Walter Kerr

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the the universe. – Albert Einstein

I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones. – John Peel

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that! – Tom Lehrer

Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it. – Tom Lehrer

If you’re alive you’ve got to flap your arms and legs, you’ve got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therefore you must at very least think noisy and colorfully, or you’re not alive. – Mel Brooks

When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. – sometimes attributed to Franklin D. Roosevelt, Eleanor Roosevelt, or Thomas Jefferson, but…

Clever Quotes for Facebook

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. – Groucho Marx

Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. – Robert Frost

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution? – H. L. Mencken

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. – H. L. Mencken

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another. – H. L. Mencken

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop. – H. L. Mencken

Happiness is the china shop; love is the bull. – H. L. Mencken

Clever Sayings for Facebook

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. – Benjamin Franklin

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. – Oscar Wilde

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry. – Oscar Wilde

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. – George Burns

Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache. – Mae West

Clever Sayings

Don’t let schooling interfere with your education. – Mark Twain

Be careful not to do your good deeds when there’s no one watching you. – Tom Lehrer

The lack of money is the root of all evil. – Mark Twain

A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth. – Will Rogers

Clever Phrases

To the best of my knowledge the following clever phrases are all anonymous. Come to think of it, would anyone really admit to writing any of these clever phrases?

The light at the end of the tunnel may be an oncoming train.

I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

I love my attitude problem.

Some days you’re the dog, and some days you’re the hydrant.

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

Politicians and diapers need to be changed regularly, usually for the same reason.

Join the Army, travel the world, meet interesting people and kill them.

When everything comes your way you’re in the wrong lane.

Life is uncertain; always eat dessert first.

Half the people you know are below average.

Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Clever Sayings and Quotes

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow. – Mark Twain

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. – Oscar Wilde

If I had known what it would be like to have it all – I might have been willing to settle for less. – Lily Tomlin

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. – Oscar Wilde

Get the facts first. You can distort them later. – Mark Twain

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane. – Oscar Wilde

Nothing so needs reforming as other people’s habits. – Mark Twain

I can resist everything except temptation. – Oscar Wilde

Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. – Mark Twain

By giving us the opinions of the uneducated, journalism keeps us in touch with the ignorance of the community. – Oscar Wilde

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times. – Mark Twain

A man can’t be too careful in the choice of his enemies. – Oscar Wilde

Honesty is the best policy – when there is money in it. – Mark Twain